Monday, August 16, 2010

Sophie + School Bus = Guaranteed Blog Material.

So, let's see.  Five days into kindergarten and already Sophie has provided me with some most excellent blog material.  I decided to do a little Top Five - Week in Quotes for you.  For the sake of your computer monitor, and your windpipe, I would advise you to put down anything you may be drinking or eating.

5.)   At recess on Friday a boy pushed Sophie in the back and knocked her to the ground. Whether it was accidental or intentional, when she got up and turned around, she told him, "Walk away, friend. You've made a BAAAD decision."  (When I asked her what the kid did in response, she said he just stood there staring at her.  Then he wandered away, kicking at dirt clods.  Booyah!  Three cheers for rendering the potential bully dumbstruck, my love.)

4.)  Thursday she informed me:  "Mommy! Did you know they have this place...this special room or center place, where you can go to talk about the things that are bothering you. Like if your dog or grandma dies, or if someone is mean to you on the playground...or, I don't know, probably even something like - you don't like celery, and there's a big pile of it on your tray at lunch. Stuff like that."

3.)  Wednesday's kindergarten adventures included: "the best lunch ever" (corndog, carrots with Ranch, and blushing pears - the pink pears were apparently what made it a 4-star dining experience), "some grown-up lady" stopping Sophie in the hallway to ask where she gets her cute handmade clothes (her response: "My mom gets them out of my closet."), and the dirtiest feet I've ever seen (seriously, recess must be in a tar pit!). 

*To deal with the black feet issue, first thing when she comes home, I've been having her head to the tub to rinse off.  What I probably need to do is release her into the backyard to run because all of the energy that has been "contained" all day in the classroom comes spewing out like a volcano about thirty minutes after she gets home. As a result, "wash your feet, please, Sophie" translates into her playing the part of Shamu and singing at the top of her lungs. Oh, and doing the occasional cannon ball off the edge of the tub.  When I poked my head in the bathroom to give her the "Um...hello?" face, she blurted out, "CLEEEEAN FEEEEET!!!"


2.)  Tuesday she informed me: "Mom! I have MILLIONS of friends!! Probably close to, like, seven hundred and FIFTY! ...Really, it's kind of mind-boggling." I almost snorted peach soda all over the steering wheel.

And, for our top quote of Sophie's first week of kindergarten, drumroll, please...

1.)  Since the first time she spotted one as a toddler, Sophie has begged to ride the school bus.  Even as a tiny tot, she would squeal and point whenever we would see one pass on the road.  My answer has always been the same, "Maybe when you get to kindergarten."  Suddenly, here we are - the long-awaited day, and, nope, no chance this kid is forgetting what that means.  BUS DAY!  Russ and I spent lots of time discussing it, and finally we landed on okay - we'll let her ride home after her first day of school. 

She was so cute, climbing down off those steps of the bus - backpack on, just 'a grinning for all she was worth.  I gave her a huge hug and asked her, "So how was it?  Was it all you'd dreamed it would be?"  She paused for a second and said, "Bad news, Mom.  Buses are all about penises."

!!!!!!!!!!!!

Turns out some kid with a phallic obsession was in desperate need of a muzzle.  Bless the heart of the sweet older boy who came over to Sophie and advised her to put her fingers in her ears and sing songs outloud, so she wouldn't be able to hear the impromptu anatomy lesson going on behind her.

Alrighty, then.

And thus concludes Sophie's status as a bus-rider.  Rest in peace, school bus...rest in peace.

8 comments:

Kristy said...

I. Am. Dying. Sweet heaven- busses are BAD! I literally can not breathe, I am laughing-slash-freaking out!
Keira's big day comes Thursday... we made it through open house tonight, so maybe I won't be too hysterical on the big day? :(

Scrappin Melissa said...

LOOOOVVVEE IIIITTTTT! You've made me laugh and release my tensions. This is great medicine for the soul. Give Sophs a hug and remember this when she's 13 and you want to snatch her bald.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Kristy! I enjoyed this!!

~Connie

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!!! You have nearly cost me a trip to the ER!!!

Aunt Becky

Jamie said...

Great stuff!!! I love your stories of Sophie. Please keep them coming.

-j

Lizz said...

HILARIOUS!!! I always love reading your blog! Sophie is so funny! Thanks for sharing! Laughing so much!

Anonymous said...

I tried to warn you about the bus!! The thing with Avery is she probably learned all that stuff and compartmentalized it and one of these days it will all come out in therapy. Wait til she comes home with a bona-fide cuss word!
-Lindsay

Alice said...

Love ittttt! Glad to have found your blog, am smiling already!

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