Tuesday, March 17, 2009

American Idol - A Snappy Little Recap Because I'm Dog Tired And Have A Sink Full Of Dishes Beckoning

Oh, criminy, it's country night. Somebody's gonna butcher this one bad, I can smell it comin'. I like Randy Travis, though. He reminds me of a very gentlemanly Veggie Tales character.


Michael Sarver. "Ain't Going Down 'Til The Sun Comes Up". Good genre for our Oil Rigger. But I felt like he was one mumbled word from having the whole thing go Train Wreck on him. I know he was trying to mix it up and do something peppier since he sang a ballad last week. But maybe something like "The Dance" would've showcased his voice better. All in all, not the greatest performance.

(Oh, man. Something is way wrong with Paula tonight. She looks like the flag is at half-mast. Stammering, stuttering, and her eyes seem a little kookadoo. Yikes. On a sidenote: I hate it when contestants talk back to the judges. Not funny or cool, just disrespectful.)

Allison Ireheta. "Blame It On Your Heart". Nice rockin', gritty sound. Although a tad breathy - kind of like she was doing aerobics while singing. Maybe it's because she's running from one side of the stage to the other. I think that's what Simon's referring to when he said she seemed like she was "about to forget the words". I think she was trying to breathe.

Kris Allen. "To Make You Feel My Love". Oh.my.gosh. LOVED IT. Absolutely amazing. So, so pretty. I'm actually considering downloading this one from iTunes tomorrow.

Lil Rounds. "Independence Day". I was worried about Lil when I heard it was Opry Night. And, as it turns out, I should've been. This was not good. She just seemed TOTALLY out of her element. She so needed to put her R&B twist on things to "Lil" it up. It just felt flat, boring...like paint-by-numbers singing.

Adam Lambert. "Ring Of Fire". Randy I've-Never-Seen-A-Man-With-Fingernail-Polish-Before Travis is beside himself and now I know why. It's not just the black fingernails. Oh my gosh, the microphone rubbing and deep gazes into the camera is just totally creeping me out. Ick, ick, ick! Johnny Cash meets the Middle East? Um, nuh uh. (It reminded me of when Andy sang "there's a place in France where the naked ladies dance" with that funny little twangy instrument the night of "The Office" Christmas party. Yeah. It felt like that. Only without the funny.) And the way he was screaming, "it burns...it burns...it burns!", all I could think of was, QUICK! SOMEBODY GIVE HIM SOME CREAM, FOR PETE'S SAKE! It was all kinds of twisted. The good news is, Adam will not be getting pinched today thanks to the lovely green hair streaks. That and his burning "condition". Maybe after a little shot of penicillin, he'll be back on track with the ladies.

Scott McIntyre. "Wild Angels". It was rough, folks. Lots 'o out-of-tune notes and some distracting facial expressions, which I feel bad about mentioning. Oh boy, the judges are now rambling on incessantly, arguing about who's being more disrespectful. Somebody please get out the duct tape to assist everyone in finding the mute button. Whoa Nellie! ...And to help Paula harness the girls. Perhaps that was a bad dress choice, eh?

Alexis Grace. "Jolene". Did this song start off in the wrong octave? This felt like Minnie Mouse's version. I kept waiting for cute little pink Alexis to crank out something brilliant, but...nope. Not a great performance.

Danny Gokey. "Jesus Take The Wheel". Oh, heaven help him, he's foobarring it BAD in rehearsal with Randy. What the heck? Let's hope the real deal is better. Not the greatest start on stage. In fact, pretty darn bad. (Somebody please tell me, is he wearing a white life preserver?) Hallelujah for the chorus! Power, baby! Belt-it-out mode is obviously his special gift. I love that raspy/bluesy thing he does on certain notes - makes me tingle. I agree with Randy, though, he didn't "support the verses" very well on this one. I was a bit underwhelmed by my boy Danny this week. (Sigh.)

Anoop Desai. "Always On My Mind". Much, much, much better than last week. SCADS! This is a new Anoop! The song's a tad drawn-out for my taste, but very pretty vocals. Tender, amazing, sweet vocals that touched Paula's heart. And well, now! Simon's all jazzed up, too. The Noop Dog was dope, apparently.

Megan Joy Dropped-the-Corkrey. "Walkin' After Midnight". I'll give this girl one thing, she's definitely interesting. I really liked the vocals, but her movements and expressions...I just never know what she's gonna do. I kept waiting for her to caw or cluck in the middle of the song. But overall, it was quirky and fun, and I think it worked! Oh, and apparently she's had a rockin' case of influenza that warranted a trip to the hospital. Yikes, it seems singing has activated the hacking. Somebody give this girl a cough drop and a wad of Kleenex stat! Ryan just took one giant step away from her. Now he's patting her on the arm to make her feel better about being Typhoid Mary.

Matt Giraud. "So Small." This is another one I'd buy. (Yes, okay, I have a tiny iTunes problem these days. All I can say is waaaaaay too easy to buy songs.) LOVED the whole thing, from start to finish. Wanted to hear more. Like a whole concert more. Matt brought a soulfulness and a quiet confidence to this Carrie Underwood song that was incredible. Go, JT, go! Oh, poop, Paula can't say "authenticity"...or any of the other words, for that matter. Somebody help her.

Favs of the night: Kris and Matt, by a landslide.

Laid-an-Egg Award of the night: Adam, with Scott a close second. (*Pitiful little sidenote: Even after writing a review of Scott's performance each week, whenever somebody mentions him, my first response is always, "Scott Who?" Seriously. No joke. I cannot for the life of me remember the guy! Maybe his name doesn't fit him. ...Is that it?)


Peyton said...

Oh my gosh! I am CRACKING UP at your review of Adam's performance! It really was without a doubt one of the strangest performances that I have ever seen on AI and I really found the whole thing disturbing on many levels. I linked to you from BooMama and I'm glad that I did because you are hilarious!

Smoochiefrog said...

Loved what you said about Adam. Somebody get him some creme was hysterical!

Marci @Finding Joy in the Journey said...

Loved your commentary! Had to comment because every week I say "Steve" and every week my daughter says, "Scott, mom, Scott".

Marci @Finding Joy in the Journey said...

BTW your commentary on Adam had me rolling. It was dead on though! He might put on one heck of a show, but it's not a show I want to be watching! It was uncomfortable and weird, just icky!

Sherri's Southern Style said...

Visiting from BooMama's again this week - HI!
You made me laugh, OUT LOUD, with your comments on Adam. He is a little TOO strange for my taste.

Lori said...

Highly entertaining blog!! LOVED the play-by-play!

Jennie said...

You are just too funny on this commentary. Love it.

Sturgmom said...

Your discussion of Adam cracked me up! And just like you can't remember Scott, I can never remember Kris! Even last night when he was so good- I forgot about him until the recaps!

Anonymous said...

Cheech, you had us cracking up over that "cream" comment! It's amazing how we Manises agreed separately that Michael should have sung "The Dance." By the way, what does "foobarring" mean? Love, Mooms

jerriann said...

on a sidenote, you have the cutest little girl I have ever seen. I come here to see that little face. what a cutie.

Love your post, I feel like I can hear your voice. I mean I don't know you and so I don't know what your voice sounds like but I think I can hear you. strange, I agree but still...
back to AI, Adam began creeping me out about two weeks ago. please just make it stop!

Kristy said...

YES! For the description of Adam. I was laughing out loud and snorting about the cream. Oh my gosh.

I loved me some Kris!

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