Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Sandman Failed To Make An Appearance Last Night - Probably For Fear He'd Get Kicked In The Crotch By A Curly-Headed Wildebeast

It's just a simple fact. We're not "family bed" people. Never have been, never want to be. We have some friends who subscribe to the theory that "families who sleep together produce smarter, more well-adjusted children". As a result, the four of them share one VERY cozy bed. And, yep, their girls are smart. Wicked smart, in fact, AND well-adjusted.

Frankly, we're okay with dumb, slightly insecure children, as long as we get some peaceful snoozing time. The way we figure it, the equation for a happy family is this: children in their room, tucked snugly in their beds + adults in their bed (preferably in a room on the other side of the house) = blissfully happy nighttime zzzzzzz's.

I'm sad to report this equation has not been employed in our home this week. And (pardon me while I shudder violently), I feel like due to our bedtime choices, we've come dangerously close to forever disturbing life as we know it.

Here's the deal. Sophie caught a virus, thanks most likely to a trip to the indoor mall playground last Friday that involved a slide-licking incident. And, let me tell you, this virus, it's been a doozie. Snot, a red throat with lovely pus splotches on it, aches, chills, fitful sleep, headaches, gastric cramping, and, yes, super-fun rocket vomiting. Basically a nice hodge-podge of every possible symptom a sick person can get. What happened, the way I figure it, is as her tongue glided ever so smoothly down the playground slide, she picked up the Variety Pack 'o Viruses and morphed them together into one crazy bug: the dreaded Slidelickeritis. The not-as-known ugly cousin of malaria.

This virus has also come with such the pleasant attitude - crying, griping, complaining, lots of I-can't-dooooo-it moaning, stop-looking-at-me whining, and general mean looks. Hey, I'm not saying I'd be Miss Perky Personality if I felt like poor Sophs has felt the past couple of days. (Which I probably will in a few days since she INSISTS on saying, "Hey, Mama..." and then coughing directly in my face.)

I'm just saying, would it be too much to ask to give the person who has wiped your snot, made the meals you refuse to eat, rubbed your back with soothing lotion, laid cold compresses on your forehead, read you story after story after story, adjusted your blanket according to which phase of hot-cold-hot-cold mania you were in at that particular moment, and generally been at your bell-ringing Beckon Call, a break? Would it be too much to throw that person a bone? Heck, maybe not even a bone. Maybe just the teeniest of dog treats. Sit, Mama, sit. Good, servant. Woof!

By far the worst part of this virus has been the fever that has accompanied all the other nifty symptoms. The fever has been insane. One second she'll be pale as a sheet. The next second I'll look over and she'll be red as a beet, shivering like she's sitting naked on an iceberg in the Arctic. Because of that, I talked Russ into letting Sophie sleep in our bed Sunday night (so NOT like me). And not just that, I talked him into retiring comfortably to the guest room, while I sat up bunking fun with our ever-wiggly four year old. The same "something" that told me I was insane also told me it was the right thing to do.

And, for the most part, I've felt good about my decision.

Sometimes it seems God has a way of tapping you on the shoulder and steering you down the best path, even if you're fighting that path tooth-and-nail. Sophie spiked a 104 degree temperature that first night and continued to sleep right through it. I never would have known she was blazing hot, had I not been not-sleeping right beside her. As it was, I was immediately able to hear her panting and see in the dim light of the room that she was fire-engine red. It took a back-to-back dose of Tylenol and Motrin and lots of compresses and cool Aloe skin rubs to bring her fever down to a manageable degree. But God protected her and we avoided the oh so fun middle-of-the-night-speeding-to-the-ER trip.

The part of me that hasn't felt as good about my decision is the more-than-slightly loopy part that has had a combined total of about six hours of sleep over the past three days. Thanks, in large part, to my little sugary-sweet treat of a bed buddy.

As it turns out, Asleep Sophie is pretty much exactly like Awake Sophie. Asleep Sophie talks, and wiggles, and jumps, and yells. She snorts and moos and makes other weird noises.  She flails and laughs loudly. She, fully asleep, carries on whole conversations with herself - BOTH SIDES of the conversation, mind you. She even runs in place. I fear for her future husband. The poor man is going to need to retire to bed equipped with noise-cancelling earplugs and full body armour. I about jumped out of my skin last night when out of a deep sleep she suddenly yelled, "MACARONI!" at the top of her lungs and punched the air in front of her.

It was pretty entertaining. Or it would've been on a few more hours of sleep. ...Or maybe if she was slumbering, instead, with her father and I was just hearing the stories over breakfast in the morning. Then it would be hilarious.

I'm a horribly light sleeper, always have been. If the air in the room moves, I'm snapped-to at full alert. So, you can imagine comments like: "Ooo, quick, mama! Look at this mole on my finger!" and "STOP POKING ME!!!!" and "You're going to get in biiiiiig trouble, " said in a sing-songy voice between gales of laughter, just are not something I can sleep through. Nor is getting whacked square in the nose or kicked in the kidney without so much as a twitch's warning.

I considered sleeping with the video camera around my neck last night, to capture her antics. I mean, at that point, what would one teeny camera add to the distractions. But in my sleep-deprived fog, I couldn't locate it. I may still try to film her sometime. I did that to Russ once. He wasn't amused. But I don't think Sophs would object. At least not 'til she's in middle school and the footage ends up on YouTube.

Adopted-schmadopted. I'm pretty sure our daughter inherited her daddy's gift for sleep talking. ...Which, yes, if you did the math, makes me the only sane one in the family. Heh, heh.

42 comments:

Kristen said...

Loved the post and SO impressed you were able to write it and STILL be funny on so little sleep. I unfortunately have nothing funny to say for obvious reasons....but I do want to tell you that Fia (true to being Sophie's twin) also talks and wiggles all night long. I have to admit, the cutest thing is when she giggles and since I am such a light sleeper I will wake up from it in our bedroom and start to laugh too. Good luck with the sickie and hope Sophie gets better really soon.

Russ said...

Okay, THAT was hilarious! And it was long enough to almost take readers to the bottom of the page where the ads are, so...maybe. Cha-ching!

Jennie said...

Just yesterday I started wondering what was happening in your house since I hadn't seen a post from you in a while, but now I know why we hadn't heard from you! Yuck! Hoping and praying Sophie gets well VERY soon and that no one else catches what she has!

Anonymous said...

O.K. My child has lost it! Do you mean to tell me that Sophie has been in your bed for 4 nights? You've created a monster! Boot that puppy out!

Cute pictures. I loved that ticky Sophie. I've seen that face before! Did she make that one when you told her she had to go back to reality tonight?

Have a great time this week-end, and I'll pray that all of you will be well! Love, Mooms

sarah p said...

Bless. Her. Heart.
Bless. YOUR. Heart.
And Russ?
Bless. His. Heart.

We'll pray that Sophs feels better soon! And that this transition back to her bedroom will be smoother than you could've ever imagined.

I've also wanted to do a delurking day...I think I'll do that soon.

Always love your posts. So great to see you back on here. We've missed you!

Love, Love, Love!

Anonymous said...

Welcome back!!!!!!! I have missed ya'll sooo much!! Poor me, I check every night even though I KNOW there won't be a post---- I still look in hopes..... And boom a whopper!!!
As for sending that precious, darling, sick child back to her bed.. Shame on you, Kristy!! Just go buy a BIGGER bed!!! I am ALL about the family bed. About my dear red-headed sister's comment, well, she would'nt share her bed with me 49 years ago!! so what would you expect from her now???????
Just look at that precious video of her talking to Abby and you want care if you ever sleep again.
Love you,
Aunt Becky

Ashley said...

Ok, so....in honor of the late Delurking Day...I will stop lurking.

I've been reading your blog for about a month. I'm a 23 year old college student and I believe I found you through Blissfully Domestic. That said...

The way you related Sophie's midnight antics was priceless!

I started laughing so hard that my boyfriend and my roommate demanded to know what I was tearing up about, so I read it aloud to them.

I love your writing, and your daughter is so adorable!

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about my Granddaughter I will say a prayer for her tonight and probably call ya`ll ,, Kristy I too love your writing I expect an auto graphed novel in the next few years ,, Tell my son i said hey , funny i seem to never come up in your stories haha > hey if it was`nt for me Russ would not be around

floreksa said...

Hoping Sophie gets better soon and that you don't get it!

Lora Lee said...

Sending healthy prayers ya'lls way. I hope she gets better soon and you don't catch it. I understand the no bed sharing. Good Luck on moving her out. Hope ya'll get to enjoy your weekend. Give Aunt Vicky and all those kids a big kiss and hug from me.

Love Ya'll

Anonymous said...

Kristy--

Only you could make an entry about such a sick little girl so funny! I'm with you on the parents-only bed--it was one of the only things Randy and I disagreed completely about when the girls were little. I won out during the nights, but he would always put them in the bed with me when he got up in the mornings. Hope it's not too traumatic when she goes back to her own bed. We spent the better part of a year with a pallet on the floor beside my side of the bed after I kept waking up to find Dani on the floor beside me in the middle of the night. I would take her back to bed and the next time I woke up she would be back on the floor in our room.

Now that they are in college and high school I would love some more time with them--even if it meant letting them sleep in the bed with us! (Not really--I'm still adamant that kids should have their own bed and mom and dad should have a child-free bed.)

Here's hoping Sophie gets much better very quickly and that you and Russ don't get it. I've thought a lot about your dizzy exercises. Hope they are helping.

Molly

Kristy said...

Oh my word- you always crack me up. Sophie is such a HOOT!! While reading about the talking in the sleep, I was thinking about the posts where you talked about Russ talking in his sleep. FUNNY!
There is no telling what they would talk about if you were the lucky one to be in the guest room!!!

emily said...

Life doesn't sound too fun at your house right now! We've got the nastiness at our house, too. I'm learning how fun it is to have a kid with the stomach bug who can't tell you when he's going to throw up...I think I followed him around all day with a bowl in my hands! We'll pray that Sophie recovers quickly and that no one else in your family gets it!

Oh, and I like the idea of doing a delurking day! I always wonder who checks out the blog and never comments...

Jill said...

So sorry to hear that Sophie is sick. I must admit that I have been a non-comment-leaving blog stalker. It really makes my day to read your blog--even when it is about something serious. You really have a gift when it comes to writing. I showed my daughter the video of Sophie talking to Abby. The cool part of that is that we had already watched the vidoe on Abby's blog. We read it daily and pray for that family faitfully because of your blog!! Thanks for being you!!!

Kristine said...

I'll be praying for your sanity and for Sophie to get better!

I laughed SO hard!!!!

Christy said...

Just found your blog and wanted to say Hi. Hope Sophie feels better soon.

Jason and Vanessa said...

I came over from the Riggs Family blog. We too are not fan's of the family bed. I wouldn't cut anyone down for having a family bed it's just not for us. Every once in a while on the weekends we will let our two year old daughter sleep with us but it is so hard to make her sleep in her bed the next night it's almost not worth it. And I know exactly what you mean by getting no sleep. Kenya is ALL over the bed my husband can sleep right through her sitting straight up in bed then laying sideways then backwards its insane. But I enjoy her being in there every once in a while. Good luck getting her back in her bed!

Brandi said...

too Funny! I just found your blog through the Riggs and cracked up at this post. . .unfortunately, because I RELATE! agh! Sorry to say that we ended up bringing our 2 year old in bed when she was horribly sick a few months ago and it took WEEKS to get her to stop begging! aaagh! I will seriously be on my knees for you! haha

Brandi
PS I totally get the "kids need to be sleeping in their own beds" idea! I don't think I'd survive any other way!

Candy said...

Your DAUGHTER is a TOTAL CUTIE PIE...I will have my Kya Blu say a prayer for her tomorrow as well...Hope she feels better soon...I think my sone Jagger may have gotton it today too...as you could hear him going POTTY in his diaper tonight...TMI...haha

April said...

Just popped over from Abby's blog.. love'd your post!! Been there!! Although I must admit I am one of those family bed mama's. My hubby works graveyard so it's never been an issue of overcrowding!! Hehe. AAAnyways, very unique writing style you have, I giggled all the way through. I hope to stop by more often! :)

Shannon said...

I found your blog via Abby's blog and just wanted to say it made me laugh literally out loud! I so needed that today! Sorry that you guys are dealing with the plague and praying that everyone is healthy and un-sleep-deprived soon.

Heather, aka Jake's Mommy said...

Found you via The Riggs' Family Blog.

I'm lovin' it! I saw the photo of Sophie's meds and I was like what in the heck is the aloe vera doing in there, that girl doesn't look sunburned! ... well, I am sooo happy to have picked up another Mommy fever-fighting trick. :-)

And, we're those weird family bed folks. Although, we must admit, we don't want to be THAT family. The little stinker just somehow appears every night when mommy is in a sleep and exhaustion induced good mood ... "sure, baby, anything you want, just let mommy zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!"

Anonymous said...

Ok and I just have to add...you have the most HILARIOUS 100 things about me list I have ever read! I laughed until I cried. Your daughter is gorgeous and it was such a blessing to read how your faith has grown through some of the hard things you've been through. Thanks so much for sharing. I'm adding you to my blog reader doo ha :-)

Shannon said...

I hit the enter key too many times too fast...the anonymous blogger who thinks you're hilarious and the Shannon from the comment one person above that and this comment are all from the same person....sorry for the confusion!!!

Jet said...

Ahh, I'm a long time lurker but stepping out of my lazy-mummy box to comment. I live in London with my own reflux riddled 3 year old (however, as if by magic and some meds he seems, touch wood, cured!) and two other small delights, and reading your blog never fails to put a grin on my face. I'm not sure if it's the insane cuteness of Sophie that keeps me reading, or the witty writer herself- either way, the two of you make a fabulous double act.

Speedie recovery to Sophie, and hope the bed transition goes well... i'm a huge fan of incentives for things like this! ;)
Yasmin

Sweet Joni said...

LOL Thanks for 'making MY day'! Sorry, can't help to laugh out loud while reading your blog after popping over from Riggs Blog ;) but ohhhhhh Sophie dear reminds me of all the funny things I've been told I did/do while sleeping :D Yeppirs, that's right AND I STILL sleep ALONE in bed at 45 LOL But that's just the icing on the cake! :D One time (so I've been told) my dad had to get me down off the ladder as I was SLEEP CLIMBING up to the roof of our house!!! :D (Thank You Dad or rather Thank You GOD!) So, like I mentioned Thanks for the laughs! :D Now I must get going to work but WILL be back later on to read more :) Thanks for sharing your dear Soph with childless me :) And I will certain pray for your requested prayers...
~Joni

Karen said...

Here's hoping you got some sleep. I suppose if all else fails, you could move into Sophie's room. A bed's a bed when you haven't slept in three days. Actually, any non-moving surface is a bed when you haven't slept in three days.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like strep throat to me. Might need and antibiotic.

Heidi said...

OK, no lurking today. This blog is one of my favorites because Sophie reminds me so much of my own refluxing - not so sleepy daughter!
Keep bring us the laughs...

Heidi

Mrs. Scuba said...

I too am a lurker :) I recently started reading your blog and think you are a wonderful writer and love reading about Sophie’s antics :) I have an 8 month old baby girl and one day I think she will be just like Sophie.

Hope you get some sleep tonight!

Kritter Krit said...

Hey guys,

Yeah, I probably should've mentioned (since it DOES sound like strep), the swab test confirmed it wasn't. No ear infection or sinus infection either. Just one super-freak of a nasty virus.

Thanks so much for all of the comments! I've had so much fun reading all of them. You guys ROCK. =)

Lori said...

OMGoodness, your post is so funny! This is the first time I've read your blog, I found you thru the Riggs...I feel your pain on the transitioning out of your bed, hopefully it will go smoothly,mine that are in the bed are 3 & 4 and it was always our of pure selfishness for us to be able to get some sleep...now we are kicking them out for the same reason! I also live in NWA so I thought it was funny that I found your blog like I did. Hope Sophie feels better soon and pray that you don't get it also!

Amelia said...

Kristy, I've delurked randomly before, I've been reading your blog for about a year, after you linked to it on the Toddlers with Reflux board.

I can relate to the night time antics. When Oliver transitioned out of the crib about this time last year it was all down hill from there. We didn't want a family bed either, nothing against those who do that, it just wasn't for us. I didn't sleep, and tired mommy=crabby mommy=crabby everyone. However since then, we moved, and then my sweet husband had a stroke and was hospitalized for a month, then came home a different daddy... Long story short he ended up sleeping with me while daddy was gone, (for me, I needed some one to hold and love) and he's slept in his bed the entire night once in the last 6 months, I think. So yeah. It's time for him to be going back, but he doesn't understand, I refuse to lock him in his room, and frankly, I now kind of understand the family bed thing. I hated sleeping alone, and to make my little guy do it every night? Then again, I came from a family bed kind of family...

Any way, praying for your little toot to get over the Cruddies, and back to her hysterical self soon!

Anonymous said...

OK, the post of Soph talking to Abby was the sweetest thing. Yesterday when I was watching Abby watch, I had no clue that Sophie was the one talking. Too much.

Thanks for sharing your precious daughter though your blog.

Juanice

Anonymous said...

It is always fun to read the blog and to keep up with all of you. I will for sure keep you all in my prayers - especially for the transition back to bed.

Love,
Elizabeth

wy-not said...

Ah I feel the love and laughter that lives in your house, and I am amazed that you can express it so well, being utterly sleep-deprived. You know that's a torture technique, right? Yikes. Take care of yourself and your Sophie. I'm a first-timer here but I think I'll be back!

Scott said...

I never let vomiters sleep on my bed. The floor beside the bed, yes, but no sick-o's allowed in my cozy nest.
I hope you're all on the mend!

Mindy said...

i like snoozing with my daughter, for naps and such. But for the few times I've tried sleeping with her at night I have a HORRIBLE time sleeping. She moves so much in her sleep it keeps waking me up. Is it something with having "SOPHI" in their name?

Anonymous said...

You crack me up! I laughed so much at your comments!

Sorry to hear that Sophie is sick. I hope she is feeling better soon and in turn you get some rest! =)

Joanna

Mark said...

Man...the 40th commenter. I'm late to the party. But I have an excuse...I've been out of town! ;)

I promise in the future to lurk less and comment more. Really...this time I mean it!

bethany actually said...

I missed your late celebration of Delurking Week, but I'll say hello! Also, I hate all the creepy graphics for that too, so I've never even advertised the delurking thing. :-)

Alexandra {{Awareness Warrior}} said...

Oh...oh my...I can't...stop...LAUGHING!!!

My mom tells me I do the same thing (to a slightly lesser degree, though, and, well, I shout "pickles" rather than macaroni LOL)...speaking of which, I just woke my mom up with my laughter (oops). Seriously, I almost make like Sophie and puked (I'm chemo sick today) I laughed so hard!

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