Okay, so I know this is only going to reinforce the utter patheticness of my life right now, but I've been awaiting the season premiere of "The Office" with much, much anticipation. It's been, seriously like, THE THING I've been looking forward to for... (Okay. Probably should stop talking now.) Finally, last night was the night! Let's rehash a few of the best parts, shall we?
1.) Dwight hammering the apple into the vending machine, then spraying the swarm of fruit flies with Raid.
2.) Poor Andy, God love him. "I'll marry you in the eye of a hurricane in the middle of a snowstorm on top of a monsoon." Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy tale wedding day. Aw. ...Too bad he's engaged to the world's prickliest peanut. It can't end well for him.
3.) Angela's response to the non-refundable deposit places: "Dangerous. Tacky. Sharks. Haunted."
4.) Kelly's tapeworm from Mexico and size 2 bikinis she ordered online. She looks amazing, despite the sunken eyes and tremors.
5). Ryan. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. I was so hoping the arrogant little twerp and his man-boy beard would somehow be back. Love that he went from "Wonderkins" to fill-in receptionist. Love that he's keeping a list of people who wrong him, to refer back to when he's back on top. Love that Jim accepted his apology, but not really.
6.) Jiiiiiiiiim. Yummy. Want to sop him up with a biscuit. Who knew a Quick Stop could be the site of such magic? Most excellent kiss in the rain. I'm a sucker for back-of-the-neck grabs.
7.) So help me, if Pam messes things up by doing something stupid with Geriatric Romancer Boy (what was up with that dude's hair - did anyone else think it looked painted on?) or one of her new "friends" there at school who make her giggle, I will have to pulverize her. ...But we all know that's where this thing is heading, right? Foreshadowing. Uh huh. You can't get anything past me.
8.) Holly's wicca-wicca-wicca-WHUH rap with Michael. The shirt rub was pure genius.
9.) Holly: "Kevin's mentally challenged and he's doing a GOOD JOB here!"
Kevin: "Wait, back up, you think I'm retarded?"
10.) Dwight and Angela's secret stress-relief sex meetings in the warehouse room. Ick. Phyllis becoming the new head of the Party Planning Committee because she was "in the right place at the right time". So great. Don't mess with Mrs. Vance Refrigeration, people!!
11.) Meredith's face. What the...? (Okay, so maybe it wasn't a "best part", but it was definitely a confusing part.) I kept waiting for them to explain why she looked like Freddy Krueger, but nope. She just stood there during the first weigh-in, all peeled and blistery, like it was perfectly normal to be minus several layers of facial tissue. Perhaps something in the outtakes didn't make it into the episode?
12.) Eeyore's...I mean, Toby's broken neck. Those zip-lines will get'cha every time. I wonder if that means he's headed back to Scranton? Eesh, I hope not. His in-my-spare-time-I'm-a-pedophile voice gives me the heebies.
13.) Andy wearing his tie on the outside of his Hefty bag.
So. How 'bout you guys? Did you re-watch it on the DVR ten minutes after it was over? ...It's okay, you can admit it.