1.) On the adoption front: Well, I'm sad to say, it's a no-go. (Sigh.) We didn't get picked for the dodgeball team. Tiffany decided to go with the other family. From what we've learned, they are a young couple without children, who live very near the birthmom's hometown. For those reasons (and possibly others), they were selected as the better match. I'm sure Tiffany will enjoy being able to have them present during all of her remaining OB appointments. Which is obviously something that would have been more difficult for us to do, living in another state. I would imagine it gives a birthmom a certain sense of peace about her decision when she is able to spend face-to-face time with a couple and really get to know them. (At least, I know I would rest easier if the tables were turned.) I found out from Tiffany's mom, Angela, that Tiffany is due on May 2, and it was confirmed that she is having a girl. Please, if she comes to mind these next couple of months, pray for a safe pregnancy and a healthy delivery...and a smooth placement process. That time - when the birthmom has to let go and the adoptive parents have to wait out the set number of days after the birth until the adoption hearing is such a stressful, emotional time, for everyone involved. Having gone through it, I know they would all appreciate our prayers on their behalf.
So how are we doing with this news? We're disappointed. I think more so than we expected to be, really. It just felt like it was going to be the optimal situation for our family. And we were so excited at the thought of giving Sophs a little sister. I think that's the hardest part for me. Sophie is so ready to Mother Hen someone! And she's just such a little sweetie, always so helpful and attentive to others. She really needs a little buddy to pal around with. ...But. We know God knows best. His will is perfect. And regardless of how perfect the situation sounded to us, from the outcome, we know with certainty this was not our baby. We will continue to trust His plan and timing as we wait for our family to grow. Please, if you would, pray for patience on our part. Because for those of you who know firsthand, waiting is a bummer. It truly is the hardest work of hope. Believing is one thing. But waiting for your heart's desire, not knowing when, or if, your hopes will be fulfilled... Just trusting. Man. It sometimes stinks a little.
2.) Regarding the headaches that many of you have inquired about (thanks for asking, by the way): Ugh. Dang it if they're not still present! And I used to think I was in agony if I had a headache for a day. Three months certainly puts that in perspective. In the continuing quest to figure out what's causing them, today I had a MRI. Monday, I'll have a MRV (an MRI of the vein/artery structure surrounding the brain). And if neither of those ridiculously expensive, claustrophobia-inducing tests yield any answers, sometime next week I will have a spinal tap. Oh, yes, indeedy, that will be the low point, I'm quite sure. A ten inch needle (the size of a tree trunk, I might add) in my back is so NOT something I look forward to taking part in. But apparently that's the only test that will measure intracranial pressure. So, it may be necessary to rule out fungal menningitis. The not-contagious, longer-lingering cousin of bacterial menningitis. Where would one go about picking up a fungus in their brain, in this non-Third World country that we live in, you ask? I'm sure I have absolutely no idea. But if anyone happens to have any NON-horrific stories to share about lumbar punctures, by all means, please share them. You will be my new hero.
What we do know is...
So far the tests are all clear. Which is good, I guess. I mean, it's not like you want the doctors to look at the films and go, "Hark! See that whopper anneurism right there? Well, that's your problem!" That wouldn't be good. But then, not finding something is pretty frustrating at this point too. I'm rapidly reaching a place of misery from the pain. Constant, ongoing pain is just so wearing...on body and spirit. Finding something (preferably minor) would at least give us a starting point to fixing something. So far the doctors have proposed "severe tension headaches" and "allergies" as possibilities. Which is kind of crappy, because a.) I haven't the foggiest clue what I'm tense about, other than these freaking headaches. (As a sidenote: In an effort to "decompress", I did get a ninety minute massage the other day. Ahh. It was splendid. My whole body was goo, like make-me-drool relaxed. Except for my head, which still felt like it was being squeezed to death in a vice.) And b.) Allergies to what? The trees, the mold, the ragweed, the pollen...the chicken dander and feathers that are constantly in the air in these parts? I mean, "allergic to everything" would make living in gorgeous Arkansas a bit of a disappointment. And so far, due to my inability to take decongestants, no allergy medication is working. So I'm not really sure what the plan for combatting that would be either. I actually said to Russ this morning, "Oh my gosh, are we gonna have to move back to Albuquerque for me not to have a headache??" Now wouldn't that, after everything it took to get here, be a major kick in the cahoonies? Sheesh.
In perkier news...
3.) My brothers and their families, as well as Chance, Lisa's extremely FUN brother (love him!), came to visit this past weekend. The squeal Sophie let out when she realized Sol: Rockstar Cousin had arrived at the front door was enough to wake the dead. Seriously, she gets sooooo excited whenever she gets to see him. As stinking cute as they are together, yeeeikes, I start hearing the chant of Rit-a-lin, Rit-a-lin, Hurry-Run-And-Find-Some-Ritalin! in my head as soon as those two merge.
*Solomon, Nora, and Lisa. (Not sure what Sol smells. Or what Nora thinks is so hysterically funny. ...Perhaps they are one in the same. Hee.)
*A rare moment of calm, quiet, mannerly play. Notice how everybody looks so sweet and serene? How nobody is saying, "You're touching me. You're looking at me. That's mine!" Notice Sophie doesn't have Sol in a choke-hold, and Nora isn't flailed over backwards, about to be trampled by the wildebeests? So very nice.
*Walt, Annie, and Zach - having some coffee and heehaws.
We all had such a great time hanging out, eating super tasty food, and just relaxing together. Me, with my ever-present Ace Bandage, of course. Something about the squeeziness actually makes my head, at least temporarily, feel better. Much to the chagrin of my sis-in-laws, I even wore it out shopping - removing it only seconds before we walked into a public place. The flaming red, criss-crossy waffle marks on my forehead made for some unique stares.
It's quite the sexy look, I'm well aware. But at this point, I really don't give a hoot. The utter absense of vanity. Ahh. You know, it's actually kind of freeing. Plus, in combination with my new super snazzy necklace, it's all good. Right?
Trendsetter extraordinaire. That's me.