Friday, February 22, 2008

So, Who Wants To Race Me For A Seat On The Stool?

Aww. So very cute. A sweet little face like that couldn't possibly be anything but sugar 'n spicy niceness. Right?



Yesterday was one of those days. It seemed like every time I turned around, Sophie was either wrecking something or participating in her other favorite pastime - trying to wreck herself. You know, eating lotion, chewing on plugged-in heating pad cords, lying on the floor and trying to lick up the crumbs and dried-up food stuff she finds under the refrigerator. Oh, and twirling "just so funny FAST!" in her new Converse tennis shoes, cracking her lip open and nearly rendering herself unconscious on the fireplace hearth.

Just normal stuff for Sophie. I should be used to it.

Turns out, I'm not. So in a fit of frustration, I finally plopped her down in front of the computer screen to watch some Veggie Tales videos on You Tube. Something that would hold her interest. Maybe even glaze her over the teeniest bit (I thought), where she wouldn't hurt herself while I was off sorting piles and transferring the laundry to the dryer. It seemed a reasonable plan, anyway.

However, a moment of calm was not to be. Sophie, in true Sophie-form, managed to find a way to wreak havoc on something. In the .2 seconds she was left unsupervised, she unloaded her creative efforts on the unsuspecting computer. There I was, obliviously sorting whites, when all of a sudden she appeared in the laundry room: "Mama, the computer is all loud and weird!"

I followed her to investigate. Sure enough, there it sat - definitely all loud and weird. It seems Sophie (Button Pushing Genius that she is) managed to activate numerous videos all at the same time. I still haven't the foggiest clue how she did it. It was really pretty impressive. Ten or so Veggie-rific songs were playing at once, layered on top of each other...flashing, like a fluorescent bulb on the fritz. With the volume stuck at an insanely LOUD level. (Oh yeah, that certainly helped my headache.)

When I asked her, "Sophie, how in the world did you do this?"

She responded with, "Well, Mama. I pushed a button."

After several failed attempts to "push a button" myself and close the Veggie Tales On Acid concert she had going, I finally just had to turn the computer totally off (yes, without properly shutting it down) and attempt to reboot.

Sophie thought the whole process was quite entertaining.

After we were settled back down in the living room, she asked if she could have a snack. I made her some popcorn and asked her to sit down and eat it quietly, while I tried again to tackle the humongous heaps in the laundry room. (Please child. Cooperate. Don't make me start popping Daddy's blood pressure medicine.)

It seemed easy enough. Sit. Eat.

I had been in the laundry room for a few minutes, when I realized I didn't hear anything. Not so much as a peep. Ahh, silence. Obedience. I closed my eyes and breathed in the bliss of it.

Wait! Silence! ...Never a good thing where Sophie is concerned.

Again, I went to investigate, and when I rounded the corner to the living room, I was met by a very guilty looking three year old. Eyes bugged. Worry lines furrowed on her forehead. Twitchy.

"Sophie, what did you do?"

"Uh. Well, Mama. I got some little bit of popcorn on the chair and poofer...and a little on that tv glass right there."

It was about that time I realized the footstool she was talking about was nowhere to be seen.

"Sophie, where is the stool?"

"Uh. Well, Mama. I tried to wash it off in the toilet. But I couldn't. So, I just..."

(Big time GUILTY FACE.)

"...put it over back there."

That's when I noticed a corner of the stool peeking out from behind the recliner - covered in chewed up popcorn and pieces of sopping wet toilet paper. Dripping pee water (apparently) all over the back of the recliner and onto the carpet.

Little stinking TOOT. Oh, man, I just wanted to...

Frickin' farker frickafrack!!! Scream.

How is it possible to love someone to the very depths of your soul and still want to knock them out with the Sam's sized bottle of Tide you're holding?


Val said...


Sorry about the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Maybe you're not due for another one now for a long time??? Maybe??

Lora Lee said...

I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. I totally understand, I don't know how you do it staying at home all day. Sometimes just a weekend drives me crazy. It's amazing how you want to strangle the person you would die for. You will survive.

Kritter Krit said...


Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm due for another terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Russ just left on business today for FIVE WHOLE STINKIN' DAYS, and (drumroll, please) Sophie woke up with a cold and fever. Woo hoo! As if just normal "Sophie Maintenance" wasn't enough of a challenge.

Lora Lee,

I'm grateful I get to do it, but sometimes I'm not totally sure how I stay home all day with Tootles either! Some days are trickier than others - like when she superglues herself to the floor during art time. (That was pretty entertaining actually.) Thanks for the encouragement. =)

Anonymous said...

I am glad I'm not the only mama who fears silence :)...the other thing I fear is a wave of hysterical giggles. Those two things just put me over the edge. I can imagine it is a little hard to be upset with Sophie for long (thank goodness) because she's so stinkin' cute :)...
Hang in there!!

Not quite the Bradys said...

You crack me up mama! I wish I knew you like in reality! Anyway,
"Frickin' farker frickafrack!!! Scream."
Can I borrow that? Cuz I think I'm gonna put it to music and make it my new theme song.
You do love them though, don't you? Funny (and fortunate) how God arranges things.

Not quite the Bradys said...

Oh! Love this too!-

"Hey, Mama, do I make you a little bit frustrated?" ...Or a big lot frustrated?"

My answer to The Pinkiest(5) or Mr. Yuke(4) would be, "Yes. And Yes."

And then they look at you with those big puppy eyes and those cute squishy cheeks and what are you going to do?

Bob said...

Holy crap!

Kritter Krit said...


Oh, man, unless she's dead asleep, silence is NEVER, ever good. And you're right - hysterical giggles are another sign that you'd better come running!!


You can set it to music and then send me a copy. We'll make it our theme song! Although, holy crimole, with six, I'm sure you'll have to sing it even more than I will (even though Sophs is kind of the equivalent of six).

I know, I'm pretty sure God has a sense of humor. Designing it to where the person we would die for is also often the person we try hard not to kill. Ha ha, soooo funny. =)

Big lot frustrated. Definitely.


Nicely put.

Lora Lee said...

I love the comment about a little frustrated or a lot frustrated. I tell DeLane he is going to drive me to drink, so now he likes to ask me if I'm ready to drink yet. That's a 12y/o for ya.

Lora Lee

Lisa Joy said...

Hi Kristy,
I can so relate to the frustrations of living with a toddler...sigh...but I must tell you that now that I have a stinky 14 YO and an even stinkier 11 YO (they really are great kids, I just can't believe how big they are), sometimes I wish I could go back and spend an afternoon with them when they were Sophie's age.

I will keep praying for you about your headaches. Bless your heart, that can't be pleasant! And I thought of you when I saw this and thought you might get a kick out of it. You might have to cut and paste.

Lisa in PA

Anonymous said...


Love, love, love your blog! I ran across this today and just had to share it with you!

Some really good ideas in there.

Peace and blessings

Lindsay said...

I always tell Avery that she is Driving me Bonkers, and the other day she asked where Bonkers was? Seemed like a reasonable question. I'd kinda like to know actually.

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