Wednesday, August 15, 2007

A Lesson In Manners From Our Little Lady


Sophie got a talking-to before her nap yesterday. Periodically (actually, constantly), we have to re-discuss the rules of living in a society. I guess she did some thinking about what I said because after she woke up, I heard her in her room talking sternly to Baby Huggums.

Baby Huggums, listen carefully to my mouth. We do not say:

It's not fair!

Stupid.

Shut up.

Liar.

THAT'S MINE!

We don't be whiny. We don't tee-tee again on Daddy's book. We should like to share. And we never, ever touch a berry.

I was trying not to burst out laughing - doing the whole press-my-ear-against-the-door/suffocate-myself-with-my-fist trick, when I heard her say:

And we most 'specially never say, Oh, damn it. If we do say that, Mama gets us in big trouble."

That was when I made a loud squeak noise through my nose and revealed my hiding position behind the door.

Oh. My. HECK!

This child. Not only does she do odd things all the live-long day. She constantly says whatever shoots through her brain as well. Some of her "observations" can be highly entertaining in the privacy of our living room. They're significantly less laugh-worthy when she makes them in public.

Loudly.

For example, thanks to Daddy crawling under the meat counter at the grocery store this past weekend, we can also inform Baby Huggums that we don't say...

~ "Hey, Daddy, what that ugly man over there name is?"

We'll add that to the list of other things we don't yell out, like:

~"Oh!! Why is that man SO black?!" while in Target with Mama.

Or there's...

"Mama, yuck! I smell a big TOOT!" right when we walk past the elderly lady in Wal-Mart. (Let's hope to heaven she was hearing impaired.)

We do not walk into Walgreens with Daddy and announce:

"Hello! We're here to buy Mama some pads!"

We do not ask the Orkin Man questions related to the things that we've accidentally seen when we walk in on Daddy in the shower:

"Hey, Bug Man, do you have a Daddy part?"

Nor do we tell the check-out lady at Hobby Lobby, "Those right there are my Mama's boobs...that I'm not 'sposed to talk about."

(Oh my gosh, you talk about turning flaming red and paying fast.)

Perhaps our To Do List should look like this:

1.) Install a Sophie-proof lock on the bathroom door immediately, if not sooner.

2.) Implement a new rule: Mandatory House Arrest 'til Sophie goes to college or learns the concept of a filter.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gee Cheech,
It seems like I had trouble installing one of those filters on you know who. Even now I wonder which of his girls Russell might want to filter the most????
Love, Faf

Kristy said...

Yeah, I know.

I guess the filter thing (or lack thereof) is another Like Mother, Like Daughter thing.

One of her choice comments came from a "Friends" episode. I was cooking and had it on. She had been upstairs playing with Russ. She came downstairs right about the time Joey said, "Oh, d*@n, it!" Everybody on the show laughed. So Sophie, despite numerous discussions and fanny tannings, thinks it must be hilarious, and therefore, something she should say.

UGH.

WyniaFamily said...

Oh my goodness, these are the funniest stories I have ever read! She is hilarious, and thank you for sharing her funny stories... I hope you don't mind if I link to you. If there is anything that makes me feel great.. it is reading funny stories from other moms... HERE HERE!

Kristy said...

Wynia Family,

Thanks so much for commenting. Glad you're enjoying the Sophie stories. She certainly provides many bloggable moments! =)

Yes, feel free to link anytime. I actually tried to visit your blog too, but I noticed it's not public.

Hope you chime in again soon.

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