Monday, January 12, 2009

The Not-So-Incredible Hulk

Okay, so. Lesson learned...

Never jet down the DVD aisle at Sam's, regardless of how short and insignificant a trek it seems, if your almost three-year old daughter is with you.


This afternoon we ventured over to Sam's. It's always a fun little trip for the whole family. I like to check out the book selection, as well as the fe-fi-fo-fum sized bottles of spices and oil drum jars of pickles. Russ likes to peruse the wine/beers-of-the world section. Sophie makes a beeline over to "try" (a.k.a lick) all of the samples of food they're giving away. After, first, announcing our arrival by yelling, "Hi, we're here to eat PIZZA!" to the door greeter the second we walk in the door. And she very much looks forward to the most coveted receipt-with-the-smiley-face at checkout.

It's a jolly good time for all.

Today we set out to find Russ some Books on CD for the drive to Arkansas in about a month. We're going to be in separate vehicles traveling to Fayetteville - me in the Odyssey with Chatty Pants, him in the Accord, happy as a little clam with Rush Limbaugh. He decided this morning that he wanted to get some Books on CD to have as an alternate option. Apparently fifteen hours of Talk Radio is a bit much. Even for a Talk Radio Guy.

So we walked into Sam's and headed for that section. Or I thought we did. Somehow we got separated. And to get to where he was in the sock section (for some reason), I took a little jaunt down the DVD aisle. Sophie was riding in the front of the cart, doing her talk-nonstop-about-everything-whether-anybody-is-listening-or-not Sophie Thing. All of a sudden, she yells out, "Mama! Why that man green?!"

I didn't give it a lot of thought, quite honestly. I mean, the child is in a stage where she talks constantly. You have to tune some of it out or your ears start to bleed. I gave a half-hearted look around for a Green Man. I saw nary a one. I moved on.

Sophie, however, did not.

All the ride home she talked about The Green Man:


"What was that man mad about?"

"Why is that man green?"

"Who is that man gonna fight?"


Russ and I were just clueless. What the heck was she talking about?

We got home and put Sophs down for a nap, finally settling on "I guess God just made him green..." as our answer. She woke up an hour earlier than normal, crying about the Green Man.

She rarely cries...about anything. So, I decided, okay, I need to do some investigating.

I asked more questions. She started talking in the same circles as before. But this time she mentioned "on the DBD".

"On the DVD? The Green Man was on the DVD at Sam's?"

"Yes, Mama!"

Then she jumped off my lap and did a little squat/show-my-muscles/GRRR thing.


"Oh, Sophie! You mean The Incredible Hulk!"

From the look on her face I could tell she didn't know if she meant The Incredible Hulk or not. She was just thrilled to pieces that her mother finally had a clue!

She immediately launched into a barrage of questions again:


"Why is that Green Man so mad?"

"Why does he make that mean face?"

"Why are his pants all ripped up?"

And my favorite...

"Why are his nipples green?"


I went into an explanation, to the best of my recollection, about the life and happenings of The Incredible Hulk. I was breezy and la-te-tah in my retellings, smiling a lot, making it sound like The Incredible Hulk was basically a displaced buddy of Strawberry Shortcake. Apparently I didn't look credible, because she promptly turned to Russ for further clarification.

He explained, and we thought we had it all straightened out.

And then it came time for bed.

Normally bedtime is a nice easy process. Other than the whole Rocket Vomit thing that can occur without a moment's notice, it always has been. We pray. We sing a couple of songs. We kiss goodnight. And that's that. Nighty night. No muss, no fuss.

Not so tonight.

An hour of lying on her floor going over the concept of make-believe, reaffirming the okayed-ness of The Incredible Hulk, singing some more, praying again...and STILL I'm absolutely certain that poor Sophie is going to wake up scared in the night.

I feel just horrible. That sad little quivery lip. I mean, he is a pretty scary sight for a three year old. ...Or a thirty-five year old. Sheesh! Did they have to make him look like such a psychotic freak?? No wonder Sophs looked at me like I didn't know what I was talking about.

Strawberry Shortcake never would have been friends with this guy.


(This post was originally published July 29, 2007.)


sarah p said...

I'm still chuckling that she asked about his green nipples. =)

We ALSO love Sam's! It's not sad at all. Actually, we're going tonight. We like to go after church (Sundays=good samples) and peruse the store, grabbing a snack here and there as we shop. (appetizers) Then we pay the huge bill and sit next to our cart while we have a slice of pizza. Good times.

Val said...

Sarah's above description sounds like heaven to me...(sigh).

That's a great story about Sophie. Poor little thing. I'm going to show Mackenzie the picture you posted and see what her reaction is.

Robet English said...

We went to Sam's Saturday, but Wendy's parents were visiting and kept Jillian at the house. Jillian rarely likes to be out and about for longer than 3 hrs or so, then she begins to get fussy. We got to run errands child-free for a change, which is kind of nice, but then again, I start missing Jillian, which is not much fun at all! But we did get some much-needed shopping in!

Anonymous said...

Dad-gum, he IS scary! I laughed more on this story than any so far. Your aside comments were hilarious. This is worthy of publication. Love, Mooms

Kim said...

Still nipples!

Thanks for the sweet comment, btw. Hope you guys have a safe trip here to Arkansas.

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