Thursday, July 19, 2007
Calling all Poop Experts...
Okay. So here's the thing...
We've been potty training. (Note: All persons with poop sensitivities should stop reading at this point.)
And Sophie, I'm proud to say, is doing really well this time around.
We've tried several times before. And every time, it has ended with Sophie peeing in various corners of the house, like a nervous poodle, announcing when I would find her after-the-fact, "Oh! I need to tee tee, Mama!". And me frustrated and swearing that she would just go to go to kindergarten in diapers. (Along with her barf bucket and syringe. Can't you see it? She will be oh so popular.)
This time around, though, she "got it" immediately. (Okay. Almost immediately. We had a couple of squatting incidents in the laundry room.) But for the most part, she got it. She would just announce, "I need to go to the potty!" And off she would run to the bathroom. Often she wouldn't even tell me. She would just go do her business. Pull up her drawers. Flush. Wash her hands. And resume playing. Easy-peasy. All the while with her shocked mom just standing there, in open-mouthed, stunned guppy-like amazement.
So, what's the problem, right?
The problem has to do with poop. For some reason, especially lately (she started out okay), Sophie has an aversion to pooping in the toilet. She tells me, "Mama, my stomach hurts." I tell her, "Sophie, honey, it's because you need to poop." To which she immediately makes this "Oh, the humanity!" horrified face and tells me, "I can't do that, Mama!"
And here's the bigger problem. She doesn't poop in her diaper anymore (she hasn't for probably a month). ...So basically she just doesn't poop. Ever. She walks around all bloated, her stomach hard as a little rock, tooting like a maniac. But refusing to poop.
Then we end up having to employ the assistance of a "toot maker" (what Sophie calls a Babylax enema), much to the displeasure of all involved. It ends up being this whole holding, kicking, screaming, crying, thrashing, almost-kick-a-tooth-out, sweaty mess. Which culminates, of course, in Sophie barfing her guts up. ...And then finally pooping.
A big part of the problem is her personality. The thought of sitting still, even for a mili-second, makes her cringe. She just almost can't do it. She wants to be busy playing or coloring or running around...or doing something, anything, besides sitting on the pot. When I do convince her to try and just sit there and look at a book for a little while, she'll sit still for about .3 seconds, twitchy as all get-out. Moving back and forth, side to side, up and down on her Sesame Street toilet cushion. She'll poop out a teeny Tic Tac, jump off and say, "I'm done!"
Enter mom and her brilliant plan...
I set up her little portable DVD player beside the toilet, handed her blanket to her (the ultimate) and said, "Let's just sit here and watch a movie." I even gave her a popsickle and popped some popcorn (for the love of Pete!) to enjoy while we were at the movies. And she still jumps up constantly saying, "Look! I pooped!" (Which she hasn't.) Then she'll sit back down. Then thirty seconds pass and she's up again. ...Then she's down. Then she's back up. I've seriously considered gluing her tiny hiney to the toilet.
Along with her reflux problems, she does have other digestive issues. Constipation off-and-on has been a problem since birth really. I've been giving her daily dose of Mirilax to her (which should make her poop like a world champ). But even with liquid poo (sorry!), she still manages somehow to keep it in. Why would anyone want to hold it in?! I've tried giving her some warm applejuice (that always did the trick for me - again, sorry, too much information). But that's not working either. I would like to give her a little prune juice (the poop remedy recommended by non-regular elderly persons the world over). But the few times I've tried that, it ends in a gagging frenzy. And then it's Barf-o-rama time (not that I necessarily blame her). I've considered trying to sneak a little bit in with her formula. But then I risk having her refuse her formula, due to the whole "Princess and the Pea" thing.
Anybody got any tried-and-true poop remedies for the world's most stubborn little girl? ...Oh, that's another thing. Since she knows I want her to poop, she's that much more determined not to. Little stinking toot!
Soon, I guess, she'll just blow up like a distended little tick until she finally explodes.
That'll be one way to de-poop.