Showcasing Their Pyrotechnics Skills In The Middle Of The Night

Last night our neighbors attempted to set themselves and our house on fire - much to Sophie's utter DELIGHT.



There isn't a lot of picture in this little gem of a video, seeing as we're sitting outside in the pitch black. But to make up for that, usually important detail, there's a whoooooole lot of entertaining sound. Listen to the sheer joy in Soph's voice as she announces, "This may keep me up all night!!"

WARNING: Spit Out Your Gum, 'Lest You Launch It Onto Your Computer Screen

Alex has been hanging with Miley - learning to do the "Hoedown Throwdown". Sophie has been hanging with, um, MC Hammer(?) - learning to do...something else. (Giggle.)

Please pardon the Shaky Cam and my cackle there at the end. By the time Sophie got to her shimmy/slide/herkie move and yelled "Get on your groove here!" to Alex, the snorting was not far behind!

My New Rule For Myself...

I had a little chat with myself, and here's what I decided: When I have a particularly poopified day - one where I think things are fairly solidly headed one direction, and then WHAM-O, find out they're likely headed in another, I will refrain from writing about it here.

Not because I thought my last post was necessarily cruel or incorrect (the facts were factual). But, in re-reading it, I think perhaps it could've been a tad less sensitive than I would like to be. A lot less sensitive, actually. If we get down to the nitty-gritty, I'm kind of ashamed of myself. I know where the cynicism comes from. A place pretty deep and scarred, that often feels scabbed over, but sometimes surprises me with the raw emotion that comes from it.

Still. Even knowing it, doesn't make it okay.

The truth about adoption is this - neither side is easy.

One side involves having to make probably THE HARDEST decision of your life. A decision that involves a lot of selflessness, and maturity (often beyond your years), and heartbreak. A decision that involves giving someone a gift - one that more often than not, you wish you could keep.

The other side involves a lot of hoping, and praying, and waiting for your heart's desire. A lot of uncertainty. A lot of trying to remain detached...but, really, kind of stinking at it. A lot of knowing that someone may give you the most amazing of all possible gifts, only to decide later, after your heart has grabbed hold, that they cannot bear to part with that gift.

It's hard. It's reeeeeeally hard, in fact.

That said, when it happens - in God's perfect timing, adoption is an incredible thing. An amazing, life-changing, beautiful thing. A thing worth hoping for...worth waiting for...worth taking a chance on.

A blessing.

My job in this little journey is to pray and trust. And witness to a birthmother about God's love. Regardless of how bumpy the ride or how frustrating the process, that's what my response is to be. ... And I promise to try to be better at that.

Isn't That Exactly How You Guys Would Describe Parenting?

Just wanted to keep all of you non-Facebookers in the loop.

Today I spoke with the director of the maternity house where the birthmother is staying. (As you know from my last post, we were scheduled to get to go with the birthmother soon to her OB appointment and learn the sex of the baby.) Well, it seems before she got settled at the house, Sybil was staying with a friend. A friend who apparently talked endlessly about the "fun" parts of parenting: how cute and cuddly babies are, how you always have somebody to "play with", how fun their little baby noises and antics are, how fun it is to dress them up in cute clothes. Fun, fun, nothing but big carnivals of fun!

Apparently as they were carrying stuff into her new room, the director reminded Sybil about needing to plan a time to get together with us. Before Sybil could respond, the friend jumped in and announced, "Oh, no, that's off. She's changed her mind about the whole adoption thing."

After the friend had tootalooed on her merry way, Jenny pulled Sybil away from the rest of the girls to talk with her about what had happened since their previous "110 % sure" conversation. Sybil replied, "Well, I just think it might be kinda fun to keep the baby." (Babies are pretty fun, you know. That's exactly what I was thinking during the rocket-vomit/syringe-her-to-keep-her-alive years of Sophie's life. Man, this is fun! ...Actually, I might have thought that a few times, but I'm pretty sure I was medicated.)

So that's where we stand now. As disheartening as all of this was to hear (especially when things felt so solid a few days ago), I really do think I feel okay about things. Of course we will be just absolutely THRILLED if this new little babe joins the family, but we will also be okay if that's not what comes out of this situation. We know that God has our family in His hands, and despite the fact that we might wanna spit a few nails when things look like they're not shaping up "right", we know His will is perfect. It is. And when you look at it from that perspective, everything just seems to feel more peaceful. ...Maybe even more serene than the circumstances really are. You know what I mean?

Thanks for praying, and we'll keep everyone informed as this roller coaster ride twists and turns. Wheeeee! It's obviously gonna be a bumpy one!

A couple more cute pictures of Sophie-doodle. Now that's fun, right? ;) (*The child won't wear the teeniest of clips. But a hat with a gargantuan flower the size of a second head? She's all for that!)

Just Plum Cra-ZEEEEEE-ness!

Guess who just found out she may be a big sister in August?

To say things are moving LIGHTNING fast is a bit of an understatement. We hope to learn the sex of the baby sometime next week! I went from calmly munching on some lasagna last week to learning mouth-gaping-open that we may have a newborn in a couple of months. Hello! Adoption is just nutty!

The birthmother is very sweet. She claims to be "110% sure" in her decision, but we know things are never guaranteed in situations such as these. ...Heck, I guess nothing in life is really ever "guaranteed", is it? But it seems like when you combine such huge hopes with some pretty intense emotions (all around), things can sometimes go...well, a bit haywire. For that reason, we are planning and preparing for a new addition to our family, while at the same time trying to stay grounded and guard our hearts.

We know God knows our children long before we know them - long before they are even formed. We fully place this situation in His hands, as we pray for our heart's desire.

But seriously, can't you just see the little Mother Hen??

You Just Never Quite Know What's Gonna Come Out Of That Mouth, Do You?

Early this morning I was sitting at the computer, feeding my Facebook addiction (also known as avoiding-doing-the-mountainous-pile-of-laundry-that's taking-over-the-laundry-room). Sophie was sitting beside me "writing". She looked up from her doodles and said, "Guess what this says, Mama!"

I guessed (wrong) and she started pointing at the various lines...

"This one says, 'I love you.'..."

"And this one says, 'I think you're nice and your freckles are precious'..."

There was a significant pause and a semi-sheepish look as she pointed at the last line.

"And, um, this one says, 'You kind of need to brush your teeth.'"

Now she's painting.

I can't wait to hear what it "says". Probably something about how I need to take a shower and fix my bird's nest hair'do!

A Sprinkler + A Good Buddy = A Great Day!

Two and a half hours of this...

...turns into this at supper time.

Conked-in-your-corn tired.

Four Is Really Such A Delightful Age

Hi. My Name Is Kristy, And I'm A Facebookaholic.

It took me a year and a half after I received my first "friend invitation" to join in the insanity. But, in true form, now that I'm out there, I'm out there! And lovin' it!!

So, until I find my way back to the blog, here are a few Sophie pictures to hold you over. (In the meantime, feel free to come on over to Crackbook and read up on all of the recent Sophie shenanigans.)

(Yes, after Rapunzeling it for the past five months, I finally got a haircut. Ah, amazing how freeing it feels just to chop off a couple of inches.)

American Idol - It's Gonna Be A Ding-Dong!

I'm going to have to get ahold of my buddy Sally for a little British-American translation on the whole "ding-dong" comment that Simon made last night. I'm not sure if that was a jab at Kris - that he was insinuating that it's going to be a knock-out for Adam. Or if a "ding-dong" is a close, exciting race, like maybe a "barn-burner"...or something.

Regardless, I was thrilled to see Kris make it into the finale. Woo stinkin' HOOOOO! I would have preferred a Gokey-Allen showdown for the final show, but I figured that wasn't going to happen, so I guess I'll take what I can get. (Didn't you guys think Danny did an amazing job on his departure song? Wow. He was definitely giving it all he had!)

It should be a good one next week!

******

(I've included my synopsis of Tuesday night's performances. I didn't get it written until Wednesday morning, and then Sophs and I had a busy day and I never got around to putting it out there. But after talking to Jen this morning, I decided to go ahead and include it. ...Better late than never?)

Let me just get this out of the way, first and foremost: If tonight's program is interrupted by exuberant little men, jumping in to give weather updates, I will not be a happy girlie. I might even have to throw a teeny fit, in fact. It's raining. Raining, raining, raining, raining. It has rained for three straight weeks. We get it. We know it's still doing it. We have no hope that it will stop doing it anytime soon. Please, oh, please dear weathermen, do not jump in during Kris's performance to tell me about the rain.

All righty, then.

Danny is up first and the judges have chosen a song for him from the iconic Terrence Trent Darby. Excuse me, whoooo? Danny sounds good tonight. It's all grit, all the time, baby! Yeah! We all know how I love Gritty Danny. (How many pairs of fabulous eyewear does this boy have? He and Lenscrafters must be BFF.) All of the judges seem pleased with his performance. They thought he was dope vocally, but desperate from a dance standpoint. I'm in agreement with all of that. Except for Paula and Simon's fake fighty noises while Ryan is trying to talk. Ick.

For his second song, Danny picked "You Are So Beautiful". (Cue the swooning girls.) Danny does look pretty dapper tonight, but I have to tell you, this one is kind of lulling me to sleep. It seems like it's dragging, and it's a bit too I'm-trying-to-turn-the-ladies-into-putty-in-my-hands. It feels kind of "fake romantic", you know what I mean? Apparently the judges do not. They're lovin' it. Kara is stunned. Paula is all breathy and flushing. And Simon is talking about "vocal masterclasses". So it seems I'm in the minority on this one. Ryan is talking to Danny about what he thinks of his performance. Danny would like everyone to know he's not worried about the O-pinions. He's "tuning it all out and having fun".

Next we have Kris with "Apologize". Yay, Sophie will be so happy! (Funny story, one time when Sophs was in big trouble - I don't even remember what for, she asked Russell on her way to the wood shed, "Daddy, wait, wait! Is it too late to 'pologize?!" Giggle.) I think Kris did a good job of singing this. Good, but not great. I was a little disappointed, actually. I felt like he enunciated too much (or maybe I'm just used to the way One Republic sings it.) I actually agree with Kara - I was waiting for him to put some fabulous "Kris spin" on things. Ooo, acoustic would've been amazing! Paula's talking about the "loud bum note" at the end (which we all know had nothing on Danny's "bum note" last week). Now Simon is blaming the other judges for Kris not playing the guitar. They're fighting back and forth. Luuvly. I'd be willing to bet Fringe is getting lopped off for yet another week. Russ will be so pleased.

For his second song, Kris is singing a song by Kanye West. I'm nervous. Rap? This could get ugly fast. Oh.my.goodness. An a cappella beginning. With the guitar. So pretty. I love it! Even now that he's in the perkified parts, I'm lovin' it. Yay, yay, yay! I never vote. I'm going to vote tonight. (Lee is apparently not moved. He just came in from the baseball game with Russ and Sophs, and he has declared Kris's performance "annoying". Hmm.)

Time for Adam with "One" by U2. (Simon got a personal call from Bono, granting Adam permission to sing this song. Simon wants to make sure everyone is aware of that. Simon personally spoke to Bono, did you hear him, peeps?!) Not loving this one, I have to tell you. Lots of screaming. Lots of tongue-sticking-out screaming. However, Simon loves his song choice for Adam. (And he is now booing Randy for having an opinion slightly different from his own.) Kara's rambling on about the greatness of it all, Paula's rambling on about how miserable it is to sit next to the brilliance that is Simon, Simon's rambling on about how awful it will be if Adam isn't the winner. Yakkity, yak yak. I'm tuning Simon out henceforth from this point forward.

Adam's personal song choice is "Crying'" by Aerosmith. Steven Tyler. This should be RIIIIGHT up Adam's alley. Yep. It is. Oh, wait. He's mixin' it up. Taking screaming to a whole.new.level. Yow-ser. Of course, he can do no wrong in Simon's eyes. Simon would like to remind America that it's very easy to assume that Adam will sail through. However, he would like America to not assume anything. He would like America to vote for Adam. ...Because he has "earnt it".

Serenity.

I want the final two to be Kris and Danny. ...But I don't think that's gonna happen, so I'm pulling for a Humble vs. Not-So-Humble finale.

What say 'ye?

Perhaps I'll Leave The Lip Shaving To Daddy

After bleeding like a stuck piggie for an hour, Sophie decided maybe "razoring" wasn't for her.

Mutinus Elegans - So Not What I Expected The Rain To Bring

And you thought "April showers brought May flowers", didn't you? Well, it seems, perhaps, God decided to mix it up a bit. Bring a little something different, and dare I say, uplifting? With all the rainy days and gloomy skies we've had lately, stuff was beginning to feel a bit heavy around the neighborhood.

~Starting with the fact that I almost bludgeoned my sweet husband last night for making a whistle noise through his nose while I was trying to sleep. I actually reached for the flashlight beside the bed and held it club-like, before opting to unclench and retire to the couch instead.

~After talking to our neighbor a bit in the driveway, I learned that she, too, is starting to crack. Apparently this morning (after Elizabeth refused to sleep at all last night, due to the scary thunder), Sarah proceeded to hack off a chunk of cheddar cheese, throw it onto her daughter's plate, and declare it "BREAKFAST!" It seems a wide-eyed Elizabeth mumbled something about wanting something else. To which Sarah (normally the most mild mannered person in the world) yelled "JUST EAT IT!" before locking herself in the bathroom for a few moments of quiet reflection and collection.

~We headed over to get cute, fluffy Frazier and discovered that he had turned into rabid Old Yeller. A side effect, I presume, from being unable to frolic and cavort in our backyard for the past eternity. When we tried to take him out to use the bathroom, he started barking - at the grass, at the rock in the flower bed, at Sophie, at me, at the car passing by, at the air, at his tail. BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK! Those who know me know I don't do yippity yap, so I prompty turned back towards his front door to take him inside. When he realized where he was headed, he went berserk. Thrashing, spinning, flailing himself around on his leash. I thought the little kook was going to strangle himself, so I picked him up and proceeded to carry him through the front door - all the while with him bucking and kicking and just giving me the WHAT FOR. Sophie and I could hear him ranting away, getting louder and more ticked off with each step we took back to our house. I'm pretty sure if we would've been fluent in "dog language", I would have needed to cover Sophie's ears from all the potty words Frazier was using.

Mrs. Earnestine must've heard the racket because she came outside and motioned for us to come "look at something". She had a weird expression on her face - something between "this is cool!" and "you might wanna cover your child's eyes because this may not be suitable for her viewing". I didn't know what the heck she was going to show me, but I'm telling you, I wasn't expecting this:

The red one lying on the ground is what happened after Mrs Earnestine touched it with a stick. She said it let out a little puff of who-knows-what from its base, and then keeled over.

Meet Mutinus Elegans. An alien-like little fungus-y dude that apparently can appear after too much rain. From the literature: "Stinkhorns frequently bewilder people by popping up in lawns, thrusting their slime-covered tips into the world within a matter of hours. They have been much maligned over the years, probably because they stink and they often look like penises (human, canine, or alien). Unlike other mushrooms, the stinkhorn distributes its spores by applying an odorous, spore-thick slime to its tip, which flies and other insects are attracted to."

Way weird and most definitely stinky. Sophie clapped her hand over her nose and exclaimed, "I smell REAR END, mama!" when we got within five feet of the thing. (Lovely.) Apparently they can be "horn-like", like Mrs. Earnestine's. Or they can be more...um...well. And they're not kidding about how fast they can pop up. When Mrs. Earnestine found Mr. Elegans early this morning, he was by himself. An hour later, he had invited a friend. Tomorrow morning she'll probably find this...

If she does, so help me, we're moving back to Albuquerque.

Penises growing up out of the dirt, people. Most definitely an indicator that we need some sunshine and some drying action 'round these parts asap!

Visual Proof Of What Happens To A Four Year-Old (With A Propensity To Nuttiness) After A Ridiculous Number Of Rainy Days

Apparently the need to entertain the "Tina Sisters" arises.



"Wock and Woll, Tina Sisters! We can do it!!"

American Idol - Top Four (And A Bonus Rant For Extra Special Fun)

Okay. So...

Tonight I had the pleasure of viewing American Idol from a nice, warm bathtub full of bubbles. Why, you ask? Because my husband is a saint, and he "sensed" that if I didn't get a break from all things Sophie and neverending rain-like, my brain was going to spontaneously turn to goo and run out my ears. And by sensed, I mean when he walked in the door from work, a crazy woman greeted him with a demented smile and an "I.am.MENTAL!" declaration. (My squirrel of a hyper four year-old has been trapped. INside. For what feels like the past 39 days and nights. Not forty because God has promised that won't ever happen again. ...Right? I did read that part of the Bible right, right?)

Criminy it's raining hard right now.

So there I am, soaking my cares away - half listening to AI, half dreaming of a life in the sunny Bahamas, when I hear a horrific scream. A scream similar to the one Russ made that time he thought he'd been polarized, coming from the television. My eyes pop open. I bolt upright out of the water...and there stands Danny. Making a sound very much like the woman in the shower scene from Psycho.

I got a case of the giggles. Baaaaad giggles, you guys (there was snorting involved...naked snorting nonetheless), and I decide while toweling off that I probably need to re-watch everyone's performance off the DVR before deciding what I think about it. (Giggle.) A very pumped-up Danny has apparently come to the same conclusion after hearing the judges' critique of his performance. From the look on his face, I'm pretty sure he thought he ROCKED IT (fist-pump to the sky!) Um. As much as I love you, Danny Boy, you, too, might better rewind that DVR. (Tee hee. Snort.)

******

Re-watch complete. Let's get to business...

Adam opened the show with "Whole Lotta Love"...and a helluva lot of eyeliner, wowie! He looked deep into the camera and made The Ick Face over and over. Made me feel like I needed to get back in the tub and scrub. The heebie jeebies, peeps. Eee. After going back and forth week-to-week, I've finally decided how I feel about Adam and I just know y'all just can hardly wait to hear it. Drumroll, please. Adam has one of the most incredible voices I've heard. Incredible in that he can take a note, hold it for ten minutes, walk it up and down it's uppermost and lowermost octaves...and never once take a breath. Without question, he can sing. Effortlessly. But do I want to hear him do it for twelve songs on a CD, or heaven forbid, see him in concert making his wide variety of stick-his-tongue-out-and-yell Ick Faces? Probably not. I know there are Adam Lovers and Adam Haters out there, and guess I fall neatly in the middle. He interests me. I like to tune in to see what he'll do each week (much like I enjoy seeing what Sophie will do left alone with a can of Playdoh and an empty bellybutton). But it's highly unlikely I will ever buy a CD Adam puts out. The judges will. They are beside themselves, quivering with rapturous delight. Kara is screaming and making jabby motions at Adam (in what, I assume, is supposed to be a show of support - not insanity). Paula is near tears at the "whole lot of perfection" before her. Randy loved it. Simon loved it. Adam loves it. It's a big Lovefest, y'all.

P.S. The slicked back high-hair/leather studded jacket ensemble is NOT a good look for you, Kara. ...But it's real nice of you to draw the attention away from Paula and her most excellent flappy kite dresses for a week.

Allison is up with "Cry, Baby." Oh goodness, she's been to Adam's "amazing hair girl". Okay, so, hmm. Not sure what the judges have done to Allison - telling her she's void of personality and whatnot, but oh.my., she is making sure they don't think that now. Did she take a few hits of something prior to her conversation with Ryan? Seriously? I'm worried about her. She's being, like, way weird, dude. Way weird. Let's hope it doesn't carry over to her performance. Okay, so... So far so good. A bit screamy and repetitive...but I think maybe that's the song's fault. Cry, baby! Cry, baby! Cry, bay-beeeeeeee!!!!!!! Is Allison nervous? Kara is asking. Allison is definitely something tonight. Oh, poop, she's arguing with Simon again. Lippiness is not personality, dear Allison. Oh, wait, Simon likes Arguing Allison. (Say what?) But that's good...because she's stiiiiiill going! Holy heck, the commercial is having to cut her off. What the world??

Next up, Kris and Danny with "Renegade". The harmony. Oh my goodness gracious, it's just loverly (to borrow from my Poppy). They sound amazing together! Definitely "on blast". Record that right now, boys, I'll buy it!! Maybe sharpen up the solos a bit. The timing doesn't seem quite right, going back and forth. And it's kind of pitchy. Kris seems a bit uncomfortable - trying to "make rock movements". Clearly because he feels like he should (Slash is there, for Pete's sake!), not because it's necessarily "in him". He's wandering around the stage like he's kind of antsy about something. (Perhaps it's the whole Final Four thing? Mmm-maybe?) Danny's part of the back-and-forth is better. Not hugely so, like Simon has declared. But by a smidge. He seems a bit more comfortable right now. Actually, he seems a little ready to fight someone. Anybody else getting a Bring It, Sucka! vibe from Danny? Overall, the two were pretty equally good. Or bad. However you slice it.

Kris is singing "Come Together". Not much rest from his duet. I hope Simon hasn't gotten in his head. Okay. Even though typically I don't like the faster stuff that Kris sings as much as the slower stuff, I like this! The guy is good. He just is. And not because he's the Home Guy. And not because he makes me want to nibble on his lower lip. Because he's really talented. Playing instruments (plural) and singing consistently well week to week. And even though rock is clearly not his strongest genre (bummer of a "draw" this late in the game), he still managed to take a "rocky" song and make it his own. I think Kris is a smart guy. Smart with a strong, pure voice. ...Now the judges are beating him with a stick and he's looking a bit like a whipped puppy. "Eating ice", Simon? And if you decided that "nobody was going to top Adam" (right off the bat), what's the point of hearing anyone else? Perhaps you should just excuse yourself and your fancy-pants Evian(?) water from the platform. I mean, come ON, with your smirky face, is it really necessary to tell a person that kind of bunk, after you've just flogged them twice, no less? I think, perhaps, he gets it already.

Danny is rehearsing "Dream On" with Slash...and I'm about to inhale a piece of popcorn chicken into my lungs trying NOT TO GIGGLE. Focus. Swallow. Move popcorn chicken safely down the esophagus...into the stomach. Danny's starting out okay. Not bad at all. But I know what's coming, so oh my stinkin' heck, I have to hit fast-forward. Or not. Maybe I'll hit pause right...about...now, look down Danny's wide gaping throat to his kneecaps, and try to resist the urge to tell Ryan to please RUN! REMOVE THE TEN INCH SPIKE FROM HIS SPLEEN, HE'S DYING!!!!! I'm sorry, Danny, but that ending totally ruined it for me. I can't even tell you what he did prior to taking that "brave, brave risk". Yeah. I got nothing but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Snort, snort, snortity snort snort. I'm a mess again.

"The rock god" and "Rock goddess" will now close the show with "Slow Ride". They do a very, very good job, and the judges would like to now hand them their tickets to the finale. Excuse me, Adam apparently "just helped Allison" find her way into the finale.

Pardon me while I try to fight back a gag.

Don't get me wrong, I like Adam. I love Allison. But do you smell what I'm stepping in, peeps? I think perhaps it's the poop of a big, fat, hairy rat. The judges have an agenda, and they are pathetically bad at covering it up. Correction: one judge has an agenda and he is such an egomaniac, he's not even going to try to cover it up. And I like Simon! He's usually the only one not consumed by "dawgs", "bombs", or whoops of slobbery exuberance about who's wearing what and how beautiful they look. He forms coherent thoughts. He doesn't say he has "ONE WORD!" (holding up one finger for dramatic emphasis) for the contestant and then give 'em three. His criticism is usually right on.

But he always does this. He decides who he likes (I guess based on who he thinks can make him the biggest wad of sweaty cash) and he pushes it down our throats! And sometimes I think it's not even money-related; I think it's just based on his personal tastes. He did it with Reuben in Season One and he's never looked back. Pull the strings and watch America daaaance! The past two weeks he's ticked.me.off. I'm with Boo Mama, what's up with him not saying who was the better of the two between Adam and Allison, after totally tossing Kris under the bus after his duet with Danny? It's obvious he wants Adam and Allison to be the Final Two. And he thinks (nod, nod, look deep into the camera) "Danny will be safe". Which means, say it with me everyone, he'd like Kris to pack his bags tonight.

Best of the night: Kris and Danny's harmony. And Adam and Allison's duet was pretty darn nice, too. Wasn't overly impressed with anyone's single performance.

Going Home: Kris - if America obeys the Puppet Master.

Make-Me-Want-To-Kick-Him-In-The-Kahunas Award: Simon

So what say 'ye, Bloggy Buds? ...Other than, Kristy, calm your ranty self and have some more popcorn chicken.

Teaching Frazier About Submission

Sophie didn't get his attention. But the ginneys (or whatever strange fowl-like creature we have in the neighborhood) did.

So...Is 7:23 Too Early To Call It A Night?

I know, I know. You see this face and think, "Awww! How can their day be anything but easy-breezy?!"

Well, let me just tell 'ya, folks. Behind the rosy cheeks and curly ringlets is a child out to get me! You can see it in the eyes, can't you (unless you're a grandparent). It's there: The "Tee hee. What can I wreck next?" twinkle.

We started today with Sophie "accidentally" releasing her good buddy Frazier into the streets. (Turns out, after a little investigative interviewing on my part, it was less "accidental", more hey-for-fun-let's-see-what-Frazier-does-when-I-open-this-gate-really-wide.)

After nearly having a stroke at the thought of the little buggar kidnapped, run over, lost, tarred, feathered (the list went on and on in my frenzied head), I rapidly loaded Sophs into the van and took off on a search of the neighborhood. I envisioned having to have this conversation with Jacob when he came home from work: "Um, hi! So how much did you guys really like Frazier, anyway?"

We finally found the little dude trit-trotting on a road close to the highway. Just prancing along. FREEEEEE! TO BE MEEEEE! WHEEEEEEE! Having a jolly time. I called his name. He turned, smiled, kept running. Sped up his pace. I yelled his name in a way that meant, "If you don't stop RIGHT FARKIN' NOW, you little Toot, you're gonna rue the day!"

He stopped. Flattened himself out pancake-like on the road. I squealed the van to a halt and went over and snatched him up.

Sophie and Frazier received quite the chewing on the drive home. Sophie for the release; Frazier for the boltage and apparent spontaneous hearing loss. Sophie and Frazier are proud to announce they now understand the error of their ways. (They actually looked pretty cute, huddled together in the back seat - bug-eyed and nodding. Yes, Frazier nodded, too.)

THEN...

During lunch (presumably a calm event by most standards), Sophie managed to flip her bar stool over and land on her head - cottage cheese flying everywhere. Ev-ery-where. Knees skinned and flaming red. Goose egg on her forehead. I was at the counter, back turned when it happened, so I have no idea what she did. And when I asked her, all I got was, "I was sitting on my bottom like nooooooormal!" In her crying/flailing state, she managed to grind half of her plate of food into her hair, clothes, and into the freshly cleaned carpet. She also managed to snort a piece of colby-jack cheese up her nose, which made for a nice panicky moment. Seriously. I have no idea. One second it was smushed on her arm. The next second she wiped her nose with her arm...and PRESTO, dairy products jammed in her nasal cavity. I thought about taking a picture of the ridiculousness (I mean, wouldn't you have enjoyed seeing a picture??), but I decided to refrain at the last minute and comfort my kookadoo child.

THEN...

During what was supposed to be her nap (naptime, code for: mama's only break of the day), Sophie opted to make a "fort". (Also known as: "a big pile of crap".) Out of the contents of her entire bookshelf. All 150+ books and assorted knick-knacks. In a pile. On the floor. Wadded up. Breaking. ...Not at all fort-like.

When I calmly told her, "You're cleaning that up. Right now...", she said (sweet as plum pudding), "Of course I am, Mama. I planned on it."

Man. I have a whopper headache.

Someone remind me again, please, are there special circumstances that make it NOT poor parenting form to shoot whiskey in front of your four year-old??

American Idol - The Fabulous Five

Oh my word. Ryan did not just start off the show by saying, "for the people who remain on this stage, the intensity is a constant evolution". I guess that's Ryan-ism for "it's getting tense, y'all!" But that doesn't go as well with the serious, serious expressions on all of the contestants' faces, now does it?

Tonight it's songs from the Rat Pack era. Not to be confused with the Brat Pack era. If you're an 80's Girl like myself, that's what you heard. We're talking about people like Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis, Jr. Not Anthony Michael Hall and Molly Ringwald. Important to clarify. We're not going to be hearing anything from St. Elmo's Fire tonight. (Sniff.)

Enter Jamie Foxx. Um? Who has what to do with the Rat Pack? Ah, I see. He, too, "transcended the boundaries of the entertainment industry". So...absolutely nothing. He was just the dude available tonight after Michael Buble and Harry Connick, Jr. said no. Yes? Not that I don't appreciate a good Wanda impression every now and then. I just find it interesting that Miley was the guest performer a few weeks ago and now we have the man who had a few "thoughts" about her (ones we'll keep secret from Sophs) as this week's mentor. Hmm.

Here we go...

Kris. "The Way You Look Tonight." Okay, so right off the bat Jamie is dabbling in some "under the table" contract negotiations. Smooth move, Jamie! Make a deal! I love Kris (as do apparently all of the teeny-boppers in the audience - sheesh, the squealing!). This was a really good performance by our hometown boy. Not his best of all time. But strong, and certainly not "wet" (which seems to be a bad thing), as Simon said. I'm going with Randy on this one: mad nice vocals.

Time out. How did I miss what Paula is wearing? What in the name of tiny kites are those flappy things? I'm confused. Is she hoping for blue skies and a pleasant breeze?

Allison. "Someone To Watch Over Me." Oh! Raggedy Ann looks cute! The hair is toned down a bit. A flattering style. And, hey, look Mom, she's wearing your dress! THE DRESS. The one you wore the evening you got your hair "did" that one time. Remember when Dee Dee didn't believe that your naturally curly hair took a perm "that easily!" (Otherwise known as "A Day to Live in Infamy".) Hee. Okay, now I'm all giggly going into Allison's performance. Wow. WOW! She sounds amazing. What a voice this girl has! Beautiful. I love that she didn't do a Rocker Chick song. She just let her voice, pure and strong, shine through.

Matt. Is wearing The Hat. Did he have to wear The Hat? Oh, wait, he did. This music is his specialty. He made a B in it in college. He's in the zone. Jamie has advised him to change the key and sing "My Funny Valentine" in his full voice - because "that's 'fo real". (Which is advice I think I agree with: full voice, for real...check.) Here's what I think about Matt: Matt is nice. Matt did a good job with this song. Matt kept the falsetto in check. Matt did some pretty nice runs. Matt's performance was perfectly lovely. Despite all that, I think Matt may be going home. I hate it, because I really like Matt, but I found myself yawning a LOT during his performance. (...Of course, Sophie did work the dog out of me today, so maybe it's just me...and not all of Voting America.)

That said, I think this is probably the best Top Five we've ever had on Idol, by quite a bit. Usually at this point in the competition I'm screaming at the TV for somebody (ahem, Mr. Ponyhawk) to GO HOME! Not this year. No siree! This is a talented group top to bottom.

Danny. "Come Rain Or Come Shine." Okay, so, if Jamie was looking at me like that, I'd be a little out of my comfort zone as well. What is the man doing? Hello? Personal space? Now he's all up in his grill. Ah, okay, he's just helping Danny find his "purest, truest, most fantastic self". Well, then. When you put it that way. So is it just me, or does anyone else think Danny sometimes makes a weird mouth movement when he's singing something really slow? It looks a bit like he's chewing his cud. Although, he does seem to have a certain confidence about him tonight. A little twinkle in his eye. A swagger. He looks really handsome! Not overly thrilled with the beginning of the song. Just gonna close my eyes for a bit...zzzzzz. Oh, wait...hello! He's getting to the meaty goodness. YES! Awesome. I love it when he gets into that raspy, bluesy, gritty sound. Goosebumps.

Adam. Adam, Adam, Adam. Adam just sauntered down 40 steps in a blinding white suit to sing "It's A New Day". He's glowing, peeps. (Seriously, like a Lite Brite). He's back lit in fuchsia lights - fuzzy pinkness illuminating the stairs. A smidge too much? Nah, of course not. It's Adam! He loves drama and all things sparkly. SHAZAM! He loves wow. Uh oh. Weird expressions coming on. He's doing the face. I'm feeling a few twinges of The Ick again. Maybe it's because he's feeling....he's feeling...HE'S FEELING...guuuuuuuuhd. Well now. (Uncomfortable cough.) Excuse him for that. Jamie was right about one thing. He certainly did knock my head off. And Kara's, apparently. Her mouth is hanging open. She's describing his performance as "confusing, shocking, sleazy, and way over the top". But...she, uh, likes it. Yeah. That's it. I'm pretty sure she added that last part because she's scared Adam might bite the head off a live chicken right in front of her.

Oh, dear. Perhaps Paula needs to hang it up for the night. She's rambling on about the Olympics.

Best of the night: Kris or Allison. (Or the back half of Danny.)

Going home: Matt or Allison.

Drama Award: Adam.

So... Hit me with it! What did you guys think?

*******

Updated to add: From the guy who called Adam "the love child of Queen and Meatloaf", check this out. You must. I seriously almost wet myself.

Oh, And Then There's THIS...

Oh, my. Someone seems to think they look mighty fine in their new pink "gullies".

Snippets Of Life With Sophie

This morning as we were getting ready to go to Target, Sophie yelled out from her bedroom:

"Hey, Mama, I'll stop picking my nose for you. Wouldn't that be a nice surprise?"

Upon returning from Target, I informed her it was naptime.

Sophie: "Aw, mom. I'm not tired. I won't be able to sleep."

Me: "Well, then just rest for a little while. Relax...recharge your battery."

Sophie: (With a look that clearly said, "Mom, you're nuts...") "Mother, the batteries are in the drawer beside the flashlight."

Okay, so, she got me on the battery thing. But the nose-picking announcement... How do I even respond to that?? ...Yay? Thank you? That would be a delightful surprise!

David + Anesthesia = Stinkin' Hilarious!

David After Dentist @ Yahoo! Video

Man, I'm feelin' ya, buddy. Rumor has it this is pretty much exactly how I act after surgery, too! (Minus the cuteness.) =)

Sophie Thoroughly Enjoyed Getting Dressed Up and Having Her Picture Taken For Easter...

Ah, yes. It seems like, perhaps, we've been here before.


(This'll be a lovely one for her senior Yearbook photo, don't you think?)


"Hey, Sophie, honey, if you'll just hold still for two seconds, we'll do something fun. Like, ooo!, I'll let you wash the dishes!"

One...

Two...

Happiness is restored.

Someone Obviously Doesn't Subscribe To The "Less Is More" Theory

"Thanks, I've been working on it forever." Kid cracks me UP.

Massive Tornado Hits Our Hometown

Many of you have probably heard by now about the tornado that hit Mena - the town where Russ and I grew up, where both of our parents and extended families still live. Our families are fine (thank you to all who have called today to check on them). My parents were tucked safely away in their basement (my mom high-tails it there if so much as the teeniest rumble of thunder rolls in, so she'd probably been hunkered down for hours when "go-time" arrived) and Russ's family ran to their underground cellar as soon as the warning sirens sounded. Both of their houses and properties sustained minimal damage, just a few torn shingles and broken trees, despite softball sized hail and winds in excess of 200 miles an hour reported around town.

(*At the time these pictures were taken by a local townsman, most of the hardest hit areas were still being quarantined off by the National Guard, due to downed power lines, fallen trees, and continued rescue efforts.)

Russ's brother had a bit of a scare. He was in Walmart, which was right in the path of the destruction, last night when the storm rolled through. He escaped the building unharmed, but found his truck in a different spot from where he'd parked it in the parking lot. Apparently, the tornado had picked it up and (not so politely) moved it several rows over. Craziness!! Lee, understandably, was a tad frazzled. But even with all of the glass flying everywhere, he escaped without so much as a scratch. PTL!!

Several townspeople, however, were not so fortunate. Three people were killed, including one woman from my parents' church, and dozens of others were injured. From the ferocity of the storm, it's a miracle more fatalities didn't occur. Many were reportedly saved by fleeing from their homes around Jansen Park to find retreat in the basement of the local Courthouse. Families emerged to find their homes totally gone - nothing but a concrete slab left behind.

I know it's the description always used during a disaster such as this, but, really, the poor town looks like a war zone. Hundreds of houses have been reduced to rubble in the aftermath. Windows have been blown out, century-old trees have been jerked out of the ground, and we've even heard scary reports of people being "sucked out of their shoes" as they clung to plumbing in their bathrooms. Authorities are estimating power to be out for the next week to ten days, and several main gas lines have ruptured.

(*Photo from Arkansas Online Focus.) Seriously, doesn't this spooky scene look like it came straight out of the movie "Twister"?

It's extremely emotional for us to see pictures of such mass destruction and hear stories of such loss. It's disheartening, and we're not even there - in the trenches, in the dark. I ask you, if you will, to please keep everyone affected by this trial in your prayers. Mena is such a great little town, with sweet, genuine, hardworking townspeople and an incredibly strong sense of community. When I talked to my dad this morning, he said one of the great things about living in a small town is the surplus of chainsaw/tractor/front-end loader owners. He said it jokingly, of course. What he's really talking about are the people behind the equipment. Hundreds there immediately. Ready to help -- gladly, tirelessly, without a moment's hesitation.

That's what I think of proudly when I think of my hometown.

******

I don't know how many of our hometown buddies might be reading this (I know most internet service is down), but if you are, we'd love to hear from y'all. Families safe? Homes still intact? We'd so appreciate it if you'd drop us a quick note to say you're okay.

Updated to add: Here is a video of the twister a guy we went to highschool with took from his front porch, as well as some shocking footage from the morning after.

AI Top 8: Tonight I Will Be Playing The Part Of A Two Year-Old Throwing A Tantrum

(Cue the kicking and screaming and gnashing of teeth...)

The love affair with my DVR is over. It failed me. Big time. And I'm a one-strike-and-you're-out kind of girl.

Prior to Weird Adam's performance, it cut off! At first I thought I was playing a joke on myself, in keeping with my oh so (not)fabulous day. Ryan said, "After the break...Adam Lam", and poof, that was it. Nothingness. And no amount of jiggling the remote or aiming it at the TV in a stabbing motion seemed to help. ...The nerve.

Whether he's icking me out or blowing me away with his awesomeness, the guy is THE REASON I watch the show.

I mean, I suffered through Scott's screamy version of Survivor's "The Search Is Over" - a most-treasured song I sang over and over to my pillowcase in the eighth grade, practicing what I'd do when Brian dreamily looked into my eyes and told me those exact words: "The search is over, Kristy. You were with me all the while. ...How could I not have noticed you in your band uniform, with your poof bangs to the heavens and your radiant blue eye-shadow?" (Oh, wait. Was that not how it went?) I sat through THAT, patiently waiting, knowing Mr. Ring Of Fire would hit me with something memorable that would turn Scott into a mere speedbump in the night.

Alas, it was not to be. (Sigh.)

Can anybody fill me in? I heard something about a Standing O from Simon. Details, please!

*******

UPDATED TO ADD: Apparently the show went way long. If you weren't watching it live, you were out of luck, it seems. I did finally manage to find a still video on YouTube. The others out there seem to be getting yanked for being in violation of YouTube's video posting terms. Whoops.



As you can hear, Adam really did a great job performing his rendition of Tears for Fears' "Mad Love". The control he demonstrated in that high, high range was incredible. Also, I'm probably the only one thrilled to see his normal hair back. (Can "normal" be used to describe anything about Adam? ...Probably not.) The slicked back Poofer 'Do just wasn't doing it for me. I thought it made him look like Chubby Elvis...or a creepy One-Hour Photo worker. My mom disagrees. She loves Tame Adam. Eee. Tame Adam makes me nervous. I want his weirdness all out there, where I can see it and know what it's doing.

Teaching Young Shacksy The Fine Art Of Throwing Rocks (And Almost One's Self) Into The Lake

See, Jackson, wheeeeee! Isn't getting splashed a HOOT?

Or, uh. Hmm. Perhaps, it's a smidge less funny when I'm the recipient of the chilly, lilypad-infested waters. ...Something to consider.

Fast-Forward Fifteen Years...

This shot kinda took my breath away. Aack, where is my baby?!

Aren't "Just Because" Flowers Just THE BEST!

Sophie picked a few little wildflowers for me on her trek to the park yesterday. Don't they look cute in the "Mommy pots" that my mom made for me for Valentine's Day?

American Idol - A Snappy Little Recap Because I'm Dog Tired And Have A Sink Full Of Dishes Beckoning

Oh, criminy, it's country night. Somebody's gonna butcher this one bad, I can smell it comin'. I like Randy Travis, though. He reminds me of a very gentlemanly Veggie Tales character.

*********

Michael Sarver. "Ain't Going Down 'Til The Sun Comes Up". Good genre for our Oil Rigger. But I felt like he was one mumbled word from having the whole thing go Train Wreck on him. I know he was trying to mix it up and do something peppier since he sang a ballad last week. But maybe something like "The Dance" would've showcased his voice better. All in all, not the greatest performance.

(Oh, man. Something is way wrong with Paula tonight. She looks like the flag is at half-mast. Stammering, stuttering, and her eyes seem a little kookadoo. Yikes. On a sidenote: I hate it when contestants talk back to the judges. Not funny or cool, just disrespectful.)

Allison Ireheta. "Blame It On Your Heart". Nice rockin', gritty sound. Although a tad breathy - kind of like she was doing aerobics while singing. Maybe it's because she's running from one side of the stage to the other. I think that's what Simon's referring to when he said she seemed like she was "about to forget the words". I think she was trying to breathe.

Kris Allen. "To Make You Feel My Love". Oh.my.gosh. LOVED IT. Absolutely amazing. So, so pretty. I'm actually considering downloading this one from iTunes tomorrow.

Lil Rounds. "Independence Day". I was worried about Lil when I heard it was Opry Night. And, as it turns out, I should've been. This was not good. She just seemed TOTALLY out of her element. She so needed to put her R&B twist on things to "Lil" it up. It just felt flat, boring...like paint-by-numbers singing.

Adam Lambert. "Ring Of Fire". Randy I've-Never-Seen-A-Man-With-Fingernail-Polish-Before Travis is beside himself and now I know why. It's not just the black fingernails. Oh my gosh, the microphone rubbing and deep gazes into the camera is just totally creeping me out. Ick, ick, ick! Johnny Cash meets the Middle East? Um, nuh uh. (It reminded me of when Andy sang "there's a place in France where the naked ladies dance" with that funny little twangy instrument the night of "The Office" Christmas party. Yeah. It felt like that. Only without the funny.) And the way he was screaming, "it burns...it burns...it burns!", all I could think of was, QUICK! SOMEBODY GIVE HIM SOME CREAM, FOR PETE'S SAKE! It was all kinds of twisted. The good news is, Adam will not be getting pinched today thanks to the lovely green hair streaks. That and his burning "condition". Maybe after a little shot of penicillin, he'll be back on track with the ladies.

Scott McIntyre. "Wild Angels". It was rough, folks. Lots 'o out-of-tune notes and some distracting facial expressions, which I feel bad about mentioning. Oh boy, the judges are now rambling on incessantly, arguing about who's being more disrespectful. Somebody please get out the duct tape to assist everyone in finding the mute button. Whoa Nellie! ...And to help Paula harness the girls. Perhaps that was a bad dress choice, eh?

Alexis Grace. "Jolene". Did this song start off in the wrong octave? This felt like Minnie Mouse's version. I kept waiting for cute little pink Alexis to crank out something brilliant, but...nope. Not a great performance.

Danny Gokey. "Jesus Take The Wheel". Oh, heaven help him, he's foobarring it BAD in rehearsal with Randy. What the heck? Let's hope the real deal is better. Not the greatest start on stage. In fact, pretty darn bad. (Somebody please tell me, is he wearing a white life preserver?) Hallelujah for the chorus! Power, baby! Belt-it-out mode is obviously his special gift. I love that raspy/bluesy thing he does on certain notes - makes me tingle. I agree with Randy, though, he didn't "support the verses" very well on this one. I was a bit underwhelmed by my boy Danny this week. (Sigh.)

Anoop Desai. "Always On My Mind". Much, much, much better than last week. SCADS! This is a new Anoop! The song's a tad drawn-out for my taste, but very pretty vocals. Tender, amazing, sweet vocals that touched Paula's heart. And well, now! Simon's all jazzed up, too. The Noop Dog was dope, apparently.

Megan Joy Dropped-the-Corkrey. "Walkin' After Midnight". I'll give this girl one thing, she's definitely interesting. I really liked the vocals, but her movements and expressions...I just never know what she's gonna do. I kept waiting for her to caw or cluck in the middle of the song. But overall, it was quirky and fun, and I think it worked! Oh, and apparently she's had a rockin' case of influenza that warranted a trip to the hospital. Yikes, it seems singing has activated the hacking. Somebody give this girl a cough drop and a wad of Kleenex stat! Ryan just took one giant step away from her. Now he's patting her on the arm to make her feel better about being Typhoid Mary.

Matt Giraud. "So Small." This is another one I'd buy. (Yes, okay, I have a tiny iTunes problem these days. All I can say is waaaaaay too easy to buy songs.) LOVED the whole thing, from start to finish. Wanted to hear more. Like a whole concert more. Matt brought a soulfulness and a quiet confidence to this Carrie Underwood song that was incredible. Go, JT, go! Oh, poop, Paula can't say "authenticity"...or any of the other words, for that matter. Somebody help her.

Favs of the night: Kris and Matt, by a landslide.

Laid-an-Egg Award of the night: Adam, with Scott a close second. (*Pitiful little sidenote: Even after writing a review of Scott's performance each week, whenever somebody mentions him, my first response is always, "Scott Who?" Seriously. No joke. I cannot for the life of me remember the guy! Maybe his name doesn't fit him. ...Is that it?)

Green, Green, and More Green!

*No pinchin' for Mr. Potato Head. He's in the clear.

*The Green Girls. (Pardon the fact that I don't "have my face on" yet. My priority this morning was getting something green on pronto, before the little Green Goblin pinched the fire out of me again!)

*Sweet smooches. (This is one we took for Abby. We love you, sweetie!)

A Blue Tongue From A Buddy: Just What The Doctor Ordered

Sophie joined the Purple Tongue Club and made a video message to help cheer up her buddy before surgery tomorrow. Praying for you lots, sweet Abs!

Updated to add: Abby's liver enzymes have been WAY out of whack for a couple of weeks now. (Normal range is in the mid-forties to fifties. Abby's have been in the high nine-hundreds!) For obvious reasons, it has been a major concern, and has been the major contributing factor to Abby not being able to take some of the medications that she needs (like meds to control her fevers and meds for the infection on her tongue). However, Michelle just posted a quick message on Twitter that they drew blood an hour ago (Abby just went into surgery 12:00 CT) and her enzymes look great! Back in the normal range!! Praise the Lord!